This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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We met her friends who are a married couple for dinner and they said I seem very nice š coming up next is a weekend trip, then next month getting out of my comfort zone to join her friend group on a camping trip. Most of my friends are through work so who knows, maybe this friend group will adopt me!
Coming up on the big 1-month breakup anniversary.
Feeling a little better, not ready to date again yet but I’ve been practicing just getting out and being social with strangers. It’s been nice not having any expectations.
Workouts and healthy eating have completely taken over my days which I love. I’ve been shedding weight like crazy (BJJ and Kickboxing is the way).
I’ve been really working on myself, my habits, eliminating all vices I can. I still get the waves and dreams but I’m hoping that month 2 will be a huge month for growth.
Edit: Also have a tattoo appointment to finish my sleeve finally :). Going to pitch my next project to my artist while i’m there this weekend but I’m aiming to cut another 20ish pounds before then.
I think something broke in me last night. I keep second guessing myself because I am recovering from a brain injury (happened a bit over a year ago, but itās still hard to tell if Iām thinking clearly) on top of CPTSD.
Yesterday was our one year anniversary. He has severe OCD which has been a point of contention as he keeps delaying getting treatment, and itās standing in the way of us cohabitating, which was his idea, as I have a dog. I would have patience for him if he were actively seeking treatment but he is not.
He books a car detailing appointment on our anniversary as he was recently in a crash, and it left the interior very muddy which is a big trigger for him. He says the appt is the first available. So okay. I get that itās a mental condition. I get to his place around 4pm and his car is dead presumably from having the door ajar for so long during the detailing, idk. I jump the car myself as my cables are dirty and he doesnāt want to touch them. Then we head to the brewery weād planned to go to. It was already a little underwhelming for the occasion but whatever. We order stuff and I was holding out my card as I was expecting us to pay separately. Instead of offering to cover or split he just goes āYou sure?ā and I just pay. Weāre sitting making awkward conversation and I end up crying. He comforts me and apologizes that the day wasnāt going well. We get another drink, he pays, it gets a bit better. When we go home heās clearly expecting to have sex. I just couldnāt do it. We tentatively make plans for my birthday tomorrow then I drive home.
Going over a new-ish friend’s place tonight for hot pot. We met on Hinge last fall and it was pretty clear almost immediately that nothing romantic would be happening since she’s a little more traditional in that regard. We bizarrely work really well as friends, for reasons I still don’t really understand.
She invited her sister along and I feel like I’m being officially introduced into her life what with meeting family and all. So cute š
I love a guy who I know has friendzoned me. I can’t help it. I love him.
Heading to my second ever speed dating event tonight!
Just going into it with the mindset of making good conversation & (hopefully) being pleasantly surprised.
Wish me luck, DOT š
So became single again (35m) a year ago and spent some time being single. A close friend of mine introduced me to one of her girlfriends (33f) at a party last week, and we hit it off. We vaguely knew each other but she had been in a relationship as well at th time and it kinda just stayed at distant acquitances until we actually got to talking.
Sheās a nurse so her schedule is whacky, but between family stuff and vacation neither of us will be in town the same weekend for a month (just my luck)
To be honest I kinda took it as disinterest when she said she was busy the next two weeks with stuff and told her no worries since I was leaving to help with family stuff after that but she sent me a really apologetic text and said sheād really like to meet and get together and get to know each other.
I agreed and we set a tentative date once weāre both back in town but not sure what to do in the mean time. I was a big texter with my ex but obviously just getting to know this woman so Iām not sure if I should just wait to reach out again until like a week or two before? Or what
Trying to work SO hard on texting anxiety and still struggling but maybe doing better than I have been.
I’ve seen this great woman four times, last time was Thursday of last week and we had such a nice time. I followed up when I got home about getting together this week, she was mentally wiped and said she needed to look at her schedule and get back to me. I sent her just a quick funny text Friday about something we’d been chatting about, she replied with something really brief. I knew her weekend was really busy, and she was spending a lot of time with friends so I resisted the temptation to double text.
I just sent her a very simple text saying I wanted to check in and see if she wanted to get together this week, as I’d really like to see her. Then I put my phone on DND and set it face down on my desk and started work, and put on a Pandora station with some mellow music.
If I get that text saying she’s not interested, it’s going to sting but at least I’ll know. I just hate how much the unknown gnaws at me š
Ex-FWB reached out again andā¦ we ended up hooking up in the back seat of his car a few hours later. Afterwards he asked if that meant we were back on, but I said no. I ended things a few weeks ago for good reasons, and I donāt want things to go back to normal, but Iām not against a booty call from time to time. Itās still some of the best sex Iāve ever had, my god.
The third month of dating is apparently when you start to (i) feel more comfortable farting in front of each other and (ii) notice the uphill battle of adjusting to each other’s quirks.
Anyone here in a disabled & non-disabled combo? Say you’ve got someone who’s got their heart in the right place, believes you are worth fighting for, but probably still with some neuronormative understanding… how do we go about unpacking that in ways our non-disabled partners can understand without (either of us) taking it too personally?
I’ll start. I found these [communication prompts and they seem like a good starting point](https://firstthings.org/questions-for-couples-to-improve-communication/).
the day after I got over the guy who ghosted me, I kinda got hit on by someone at a store I go to frequently. I’m working up the courage to ask him out…
I hate it when you go on 3+ dates with someone really great, you think it’s going really well, you start to really like them, and then it’s almost impossible to make plans again because they are unsure of their schedule or too busy or something like that.
Alright universe, putting it out there: I am ready for my tall, single, handsome, funny, and emotionally available man to come find me! Oh, and he must be equally interested in me š
Iām ready for someone to talk to me after the first date. But now I really just canāt be bothered to try anymore.
Mentally preparing myself for my first breakup tomorrow. She is really fun, but it feels entirely platonic on my end. I just can’t bring myself to want anything more than that.
It’s a terribly frustrating thing, as she has also gotten along well with my friends and has been the closest I’ve gotten to a girlfriend since our first date on Valentine’s. I’ve been playing it by ear since then, but if I stretch this out any longer it’ll only get more painful for both of us.
Any advice on how to make this as painless for her as possible would be appreciated. Especially since I’d like to remain friends with her if possible.
The kind of guys I attract are all into me, until it comes to sex. Theyāre drawn to me like magnets, but the moment I either set a boundary or even become open to itā¦ they disappear.
Iām really tired and exhausted of this cycle. Iāve honestly lost hope in love, and itās slowly turning me into a stone-hearted person. I feel badāreally badāand very lonely.
The only upside is that Iām choosing myself now, with more intensity than ever.
Just a little vent: I’ve been feeling a little undesirable physically. Haven’t been getting any action for over a month because of schedules and logistics and when we thought we could have some fun, we both fell sick one after another.
Still recovering. Sucks to say byebye to my ovulation phase this time. Fun times would have helped with the incoming PMS too š
[Empowerment anthem for those (like me) who need](https://youtu.be/c22aJIL-S_4?si=LJf81f5QmZnIm9Oy)
**You know who you are (maybe you used to)**
**You know what to do (or you will)**
**If you took a wrong turn, there’s still road to burn; maybe no harm done, you’ll get another run**
Hey party people, how’s your Monday going?
I was part of a conversation Friday night that I found hilarious. This woman was saying that people in their 30s nowadays donāt know what they want. She, also in her late 30s, claimed she knows exactly what she wants. A marriage, a family. The funny part is that the guy sheās been seeing for the past year has explicitly told her he doesnāt want anything serious with her.
Is it normal for someone to use āsunshineā as an affectionate nickname? This guy Iāve been seeing for a few months has called me that in texts probably once a month or so since January and it seems so random to me. Heās never called me ābeautifulā or any normal affectionate term like that, and we only say ābabyā when weāre intimate, so I canāt tell if itās insincere to be called sunshine. Iāve never heard anyone use that term for someone, but I donāt come from an affectionate culture. Is it sketchy?
The 27-year-old I went out on a date with last night and hooked up with afterward texted me promptly this morning to say how much of an enjoyable time he had with me, and was wondering if I wanted to work out with him (at the gym, to clarify) and maybe go to a show together this week. I said sure. I’m not sure where this is headed, but good communication, a man who wants to hang out in various activities, and the potential to ride that monster again seems like a good deal to me!