So I had a conversation with the lady I’ve been dating today. She told me she just wants to be friends because of her own anxiety, her inability to be physically spontaneous due to her autism, and also because she monopolizes conversations (which her parents pointed out to me)
I’m glad I had this conversation now, but I wasted a few months. I know when I try to date again, it won’t be on the apps, even though I met this person organically.
10 comments
Sounds like she is saying No without being rude. Classic move. Dump her ass.
Yeah it’s not gonna work out. I felt this way about a guy recently. Some relationships don’t feel comfortable enough to be intimate and are just fine to have around as good company. It really isn’t worth the investment if you can tell right off the bat it didn’t click. You still have more time to find someone else willing to reciprocate those feelings.
How long did you guys date for?
Cut her off. I’ve never heard this ending well.
It’s never a waste! You learned about yourself and someone else. That knowledge will help you in the future.
You made a connection with someone, so you can do it again! It’s hard not to give up but take a break, try again, hone your preferences, develop your radar
Personally I use the stupid apps, but I get it. Matchmaker sounds promising!
Yea thats a no, just accept it and move on
Honestly as someone who struggles with being intimate as well i get her, i see that some people are just saying she wanted to dump you without being rude isn’t necessarily true. She might’ve realised she’s unable to be the kind of partner she wants and decided to take a step back. It’s gonna help her as well as you in the future.
So you don’t like her enough to be friends with her? You were only seeing her for a few months. Every time you date. I’m confused about how you “wasted” several months of your time considering it can take several months, even up to a year, to find out if you’re incompatible with someone. It sounds like she respects you enough or likes you enough to want to remain friends or on good terms and your reaction is to say you wasted a few months. You sound jaded and that’s not a good attitude to have when you want to seek partnership.
I think the best relationships come about when both individuals are happy and fulfilled in their lives and want to add to another persons life and enjoy life together.
“She told me she just wants to be friends because of her own anxiety, her inability to be physically spontaneous due to her autism”
-Yeah, that’s not how the ’tism works. This would also mean she couldn’t date *anyone.* In my experience girls who do this would rather just lie about it being due to mental illness than have a mild confrontation…my guess is that because in their mind it absolves them of responsibility.
I’d cut it off right there and move on…but it’s up to you.