So to start, I am not bothered by people who have trauma talking about their experiences, especially if I know the person well. But I keep encountering people who will turn a benign conversation in a dark and personal direction, which can make me a bit uncomfortable.
For example, yesterday I was at work and one of my managers, who just became pregnant, said that she felt like a teen mom even though she was 28. I told her that she would be a great mom, and mentioned that my mom was 28 when she had me. She replied "my mom had me at 21 and we grew up with nothing because my dad was a criminal so we never saw him, but I hate ny siblings because one of them sent me a picture of her dog when it died and she also sent me updates recently on my uncle who SAed me."
I genuinely do not know how to respond to this type of thing. Again, if this was a friend I knew personally I would be better equipped to give comfort, but this is my manager and I don't know her very well. The only thing I could think of to say was "that sounds awful, I am so sorry".
A similar thing happened a few months ago when I got drinks with a friend- he brought another person i had never met, and I asked her what she would like to drink, and she said "wine, although last time I got drunk on it I was assaulted." Another example is that I made a new friend recently and she randomly texted me "how are you" and I said "good, how are you" and she said "in a lot of pain" and when I asked why she said it was private and not my business but that she is going through a lot.
Does anyone have any tips on how to handle these situations? What can I say that would be appropriate and helpful to these people? Why do these people tell this information to me, and what are they hoping comes of it?