I was dating this guy, hes like 39, and we were seeing eachother for a couple of months. There were some very concerning things about his past, like a former drug addiction, his teeth were not the best because of it. I dont like to hold things against people because he seems to be doing good at this time. He was a complete gentleman, and never pressured me to do anything I wasnt comfortable with.
So he told me that he moved years ago to where hes staying at now to be with someone, and she didn't want to be with him so hes stuck out there finishing a College degree program. He did tell me that that girl got pregnant and he took her to court for a paternity test, and found out it wasnt his. I thought that it was honorable that he did try, although its giving stalker energy. He also said hes staying at an aunts house, its not his real aunt but a lady hes known a long time, hes given her a car also.
Okay so sometimes I wouldn't hear from him and it did make me uncomfortable, lbut I figured its just me being anxious. At one point I did jokingly ask if we were together, and he dodged the question.Ok the more I go on the worse it sounds, but when we were together I had a great time he was so kind to me.
Going on things are getting more serious, and he drops this bombshell on me…So with a concerned face he says hes not sleeping with anyone or with anyone, but hes financially supporting his ex the one he told me about, and pretty much he stepped up to be the child's father anyway even though the child wasn't his. He also told me every week hes at their home and goes there to see his daughter mostly (what does he mean by mostly?). Well to me it sounds like with everything he has told me so far that he really wants to be with this ex, sounds like hes willing to do anything. When I asked him if he wants to be with her, he doesn't answer the question directly.
Another casual thing he mentioned was that she just got out of prison recently, which just gives me more questions. Also this aunt isn't this ex girlfriends aunt, its some other girls aunt he was with before, and Im like wth is going on over there.. So this was so much to process and digest, I was upset, and I feel so confused. I feel bad because he said the only reason hes been clean is because of this little girl, but shes 2 and he said hes been clean for 4 years. You see what I mean is every answer he gives me just doesn't add up. He tried to act like he did right by me by telling me, and implied Im non understanding etc for not being comfortable with what he told me.
I think the right thing wouldve been to tell a girl you were dating from the beginning, and not months in when it became serious. To me it sounds like Im just a temporary placement in his life, until his ex is ready to be with him. It just seems like hes over there being a husband to this lady, I dont know what to think. I have a stepson of my own I still help financially when he needs it, although I raised that boy for 10 years. So cutting him out of my life I could never do, its just it isn't exactly the same, he to be in this womans life before the child ever entered the picture. What do you think about it?