My wife (40F) and I (43M) have been married 11 years, together 16. We have three kids (8, 6, 3). Lately, she’s been talking to one of her male co-workers a ton. She claims he’s one of her closest colleagues and considers him to be one of her closest friends. What concerns me is that she seems to be only talking to him when I’m not around. They talk every few days the phone for 15-30 min, often when I’m still at work. She’s scrubbed her phone or any text messages. We both work days, but she often is home before me due to different job schedules.
How do I know this? She’s not too tech savvy and I often have to help transfer pics off of her phone to save space and noticed that texts between them are virtually non-existent. With my curiosity heightened, I checked phone records and see numerous calls between them timestamp when we’re not together.
When I confronted her about this, she denies anything is going on and says he’s just a friend. While I would like to believe her, I don’t. Maybe nothing physical is going on, but something emotional is. I’ve asked her to stop talking to him and she won’t.
Do I threaten divorce? She won’t go to marriage counseling as she claims we don’t need it. I love her and our family, but if she’s refusing to stop talking to him, I don’t know if I can stick around.