It started when my girlfriend’s coworker told others at work that he liked her. He then told her directly that he wouldn’t want to ruin her relationship, that if she were single he’d be interested, but otherwise he wouldn’t cross any line. At that point, it seemed settled.
But then he added her on Facebook and started messaging her—first casually in the evenings, later also during the day. He asked about her music taste, how her day was going, joked with her, and kept small-talking. This started to bother me, especially since he had already admitted he liked her.
She told him she’s in a relationship and doesn’t want to text with other guys so it wouldn’t be weird. He said he understood and stopped, and even repeated at work that he respects it. Again, it seemed resolved.
Then he texted her for International Women’s Day, later for her birthday, and kept finding reasons to message her even after saying he wouldn’t. He also offered to drive her to the train station. She refused several times but eventually agreed. He drove her and later texted to check if she got home safe and mentioned me in a friendly way.
I trust my girlfriend 100% and don’t blame her at all—she’s been honest and even said she’ll try to refuse things like that more firmly next time. But his behavior bothers me. It might look friendly, but given that he said he likes her, I don’t believe it’s purely innocent.
She says he’s just like that—friendly, small talk with everyone, helpful. I do believe her, but I can’t stop thinking about it. It makes me angry and uncomfortable, even though I know these are probably just my jealous feelings and that he doesn’t stand a chance.
At the same time, I don’t want to cause drama or act aggressively, even though part of me feels like confronting him. I’ve never been this jealous before, but with her I’m serious—I want a future, marriage, family—so it hits harder.
I know my thoughts aren’t fully rational, and I trust her, but it still bothers me a lot. I’d really appreciate advice on how to stop overthinking this.
Tl;dr: how can i stop overthinking of men coworker, which likes my gf