I (28m) guess I'll add support needed for flair but none of them really match.
But anyway, I took a couple months off at the start of the new year from dating for a bit. It's the first real break I've taken in a very long time. But I just kinda wanted to make a post to say that I'm gonna start putting myself back out there. I made a whole new Hinge profile today. I did my best to follow the advice from several guides in the subreddit. And I think I'm only gonna do Hinge. I know online dating in general is an absolute wasteland, but out of the big three (Tinder, Bumble, Hinge) Hinge seems to be taken the most serious. And if there's anything I want in my dating life, it's seriousness.
But I also want to make a very conscious effort to try and talk to women in person as well. It can be (borderline WILL be) scary, but I know it's the "better" way to go about it. I'm kinda introverted so online seems more appealing, and it is definitely a viable way to meet someone, but I know beginning a connection in person is often smiled upon more.
I guess I'm posting this just to let everyone know to not give up. I know this subreddit is filled with a lot of negativity; and that's ok. Everyone here knows that dating, both in person and online, is likely a very painful process and it causes a lot of people to shut down. But I'm choosing the hard path. The path of not giving up. During these few months off, I have learned that I am someone who is wired for connection and partnership. And I very much want to find someone who can provide that for me just as much as I will provide it for them. I also have lost some weight and re-did my wardrobe because I want to be more confident in myself. I even signed up for my first half marathon that will take place next month!
People will say "You gotta be happy with yourself first" and although there is SOME truth to that, I think it's a flawed statement. It implies that you need to supress your very human wants and desires. But I think it's perfectly acceptable to be happy on your own, make efforts to make yourself as happy as possible, but know that you would be happier with someone. There's nothing wrong with listening to your heart and what it wants.
So yeah, I guess I'm just trying to inject some positivity into this subreddit for a little bit. I'm chosing to be hopeful, and doing my best to hang in there. I will never find what I want if I don't try. And if you are like me, you know that it'll all be worth it in the end. It's perfectly ok to take a break from dating if you need. It'd be pretty hypocritical of me to say otherwise. But if you are someone who longs for connection and partnership, don't give up on that. The road will hard and painful, I probably know this better than most. But you never know. I'm not expecting it, but there is a possibility I am one day away from meeting my person, and you could be too. So just don't give up. Do it for me, for you, and most importantly, your future partner.