I (20M) made a bad joke to my sister (25F). At our college campus a few weeks ago we were looking at ducks, she made a comment about how a duck is eyeing another duck and I mentioned that male ducks often rape the females. She was kind of in disbelief about it, and I assured her that it was true, and mentioned their screw-like mating appendage. We're both biology majors if thats relevant. I don't remember the next things that were said but I did end up saying "but was the duck dressing provocatively?" as a joke. She got really mad, stormed off, and has brought up a few times since that Im making "rape jokes", I'm normalizing rape, and I humiliated her by associating her with that because other people were walking by while we were talking about it, and they could have heard. I tried to explain that the joke was insulting the logic of victim blaming when it comes to people asking "what was she wearing" in response to rape cases. She did not care one bit, since a rape joke is a rape ioke. To be clear, I was trving to emphasize the absurdity of asking "what was she wearing" by those trying to say clothing has anything to do with why someone is raped.
Shes been comparing to me to people who say the n word, Nazis, Donald Trump supporters, and saying that I'm going to attract those kinds of people even though she knows that's not actually what I believe in.
I know I'm probably really out of touch here, and if
anyone here is offended I'm sorry. My sister tears up
and gets upset when she thinks about ducks being
raped by other ducks. Shes a very empathetic person,
and according to her she's much more empathetic
than me. Do I need to be more empathetic? Am I the
asshole? Is my joke being taken the wrong way or
was I unintentionally normalizing rape? How do I make this up to my sister?