I’ve posted about this on other communities. I recently discovered my bf bought a flashlight. I didn’t care initially until I noticed it was one that’s molded after porn stars. I understand it’s primarily marketing and that the internal texture is not actually a real vagina. However, the outsides are. I already tried talking to him, but I’m beating myself up for how I went about it. I asked him in a more casual way. He said he bought it because it was on sale, and he thought it was just marketing. It’s still bothering me that the outside is molded after a SPECIFIC woman. Otherwise, I wouldn’t care. Idk what to do, I feel bad bringing it up again, but I wish I would’ve expressed it made me uncomfortable. Not so he’d get rid of it or anything, just for future reference.
Advice please!
41 comments
My advice is to just get over it, it’s a toy plain and simple. If it was modelled after his ex GF then I’d maybe be concerned.
it was on sale is a pretty justified reason, if they are all pretty much the same internally why not get the one that is cheaper.
Shaming ones sex toy choice is a bit odd. you asked why and he told you, if you don’t believe him that’s another issue you may want to think about and work on with him.
I ran into this same issue when I bought one for myself, there were non ‘named’ ones that were more expensive. I try to ignore it and to be honest, all I really see is the other end of it while using it. He was honest when you asked him about it and it doesn’t seem fair to take it out on him that the company markets them that way.
I honestly believe him when he said he just got what was on sale. He’s not having sex with this porn star. You gotta get over this one.
My first thought before opening the thread was that it was probably on sale. I wouldn’t look too much into it. Unless there are other signs he is into this specific woman, its more likely he was just trying to save a few bucks.
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It’s just a toy, the woman who inspired it matters little when it comes to these things
You don’t need to worry about it
I’m pretty sure the outside of fleshlights doesn’t matter to most guys (correct me if I’m wrong). my partner got the Mia Malkova one because hers kinda looks like mine, but that’s the only reason. otherwise he just would’ve picked one based on the inside texture. it’d be one thing if your bf was constantly watching porn of/fantasizing about the star, but other than that I think it’s not a big deal
As long as it’s a sex toy and not a real one you really shouldn’t get too wound up about it. You wouldn’t want him complaining about the size or shape of the sex toys you use, right?
I wouldn’t worry about it
It’s just a toy, it doesn’t mean anything
God there are a lot of really aggressive comments in here from all points of view.
At the end of the day if this purchase is the only thing he does that bothers you, that should mean something for how you respond, yeah? It may have been on sale. If he isn’t doing other strange stuff regarding other women, and doesn’t START doing it – seems reasonable to trust him.
Don’t worry about it.
Realistically, it’s just marketing, you don’t even really feel the outside very much and the interior in no way resembles human anatomy.
The names are mostly used to differentiate different models of toys. While it might be molded from an actual woman, odds are it’s probably just a random labia and clit someone sculpted for a mold. I ended up having a difficult time finding one that didn’t look anatomically correct from the outside because I wanted at least a little plausible deniability if someone saw it and wondered what it was. There were dozens of woman shaped ones, but not that many that were plane generic openings that didn’t look like a labia and clit.
Now, if he has his phone background set to a photo of that porn star, all his search history is about her, and he goes to adult conventions to meet her, yeah you should have some feelings about that.
But this probably carries as much significance as a photo of a guy on the box for a dildo would for you. It’s just a sex toy, don’t overthink it.
Also, make sure he washes it.
Yours isn’t commercially available 🤷♂️
He’s never going to have sex with that woman and that piece of plastic for masturbation is all it is, a piece of plastic for masturbation. No actual intent or desire for a different woman.
I’m sure the same exact one is being produced without the woman’s name on it and being sold on other websites.
He just got name-brand pussy instead of store-brand; Still pussy, still not the real thing.
Does he know who this particular porn star is? Does he watch her content?
If she’s a random porn star that he hadn’t even heard of And he just bought it because it was on sale, I don’t think that should be a problem. In that case it’s really no different than any random unidentified silicone vulva.
If he bought this one specifically because he likes the porn star it was modeled after, then I can see why you’d be uncomfortable with it.
I can almost 100% promise whatever the outside looks like isn’t why he has it.
Seems like an overreaction. If he bought it specifically to watch that woman’s videos along with the use I could see how it would be weird but it seems like just another sex toy. If you were to buy a toy are you going for something aestetically pleasing or something ugly/misshapen?
It’s marketing. Don’t be the person who falls for marketing 😬.
Did you know that 4.99 is essentially 5?
What pornstar was it and where is it on sale. Asking for a friend.
Elsa Jean was on sale, I don’t even particularly like her but it was $10 cheaper for the same product.
I’ve thought about getting one for my husband and tbh, I’ll just get him the one that is on sale 😅 they’re not cheap!
If it bothers you that much, buy him one that doesn’t bother you.
It’s a sex toy. If he is still having sex with you, then it shouldn’t be a big deal. Who cares if it was based on an actual person. It can’t do the things you can.
A few years ago I went and bought one at sex store and got a porn stars. Whoever it was meant absolutely nothing to me at the time of purchasing or using it. It’s literally just something that switches up the sensation vs your hand
My dad bought me a football at K-Mart that had Bernie Kosar’s signature on it. I didn’t need to be a Brown’s fan to enjoy playing with it. One day, playing catch with Dad, I asked why he bought me a football with a Browns player signature instead of a Steelers. He said he had no idea whose signature was on it when he bought it.
If you don’t care that he had one to begin with, I don’t see why it should matter if it was molded after someone specific. Even a generic one probably looks like someone out there in the world.
That 100% sounds like a guy thing to do. He found a bargain and probably didn’t think any more about it. Personally I think it’s a little silly to even have labia on a fleshlight. It’s not like you spend time looking at it anyway.
Listen I once bought an pretty gross looking alien pussy fleshlight just because the inside of sleeve was rated as god tier (which is was). I’m sure he didn’t buy it cause he wants the pornstar, also often times their promotional ones featuring real starts are discounted when new stars get made etf. I can almost promise he doesn’t care about the pornstar.
Literally 100% marketing. Often false, too. The name on the package is irrelevant. I’ve seen different companies advertise the SAME woman’s name on flashlights that look entirely different.
He bought it on sale. Smart.
It’s not really of a specific women, they molded like 10-15 and than let customers choose wich one looks a bit like theirs
Source: believe me I wish I didnt know
I mean does him watching porn upset you because that’s basically the same thing
In my opinion it should not matter. Women’s toys are molded after men of course some are wild but still.. In the end it’s a piece of rubber. I personally don’t buy them because it just doesn’t do it for me. When my wife was alive I would occasionally buy her a new toy. She was a freak. Anyway I digress. Does he get upset about your toys? So try not to get bent out of shape over a toy. It’s ok to masturbate how you see fit. Good luck to the two of you and hopefully you can overcome this challenge.
Many women also have dildos fashioned on male pornstars.. or (as me and my amazing SO have done) , we’ve just named her dildos anyway…
I mean, Im away for two days so our good friend Glen Powell will no doubt be popping in to look after her whilst Im gone…;-)
Embrace it.. it’s not a reflection of you or your relationship. Toys are supposed to be fun.. not a threat and certainly not a replacement for you..
If you dont have a problem with him having a fleshlight, you shouldnt have a problem with this. It was on sale, who cares what the outside looks like. Dont beat yourself up about it <3
Its about as silly as him saying your dildo looks like some pornstars dick. In reality, a toy is a toy and there is only so much that can be done to differentiate and market them. I would fully believe that most people are finding toys based on basic criteria, then buying the cheapest.
He told you the reasons and hasn’t given any reason to accuse him of lying.
Still, you can just tell him it makes you uncomfortable that it’s modelled after a real person. At the very least, the next one isn’t going to be (they get used up). Or you can buy him a different one.
You’re allowed to be uncomfortable about it without accusing him of doing it on purpose or anything.
For what it’s worth, I have looked up fleshlights just to see what the options are and I first checked out the really cheap ones but they look to be cheap for a reason. The ones I looked at next were the ones modeled after a real porn star because I figure those would be sized more accurately. Out of those ones, I was only looking at the least expensive options not caring who the actual porn star was. I have not actually bought anything yet but I see where his mindset is going because it seems similar to what I was thinking.
Girl, women buy dildos and vibrators all the time. Some of them are molded after professionals, because they were “gifted”. That doesn’t mean I’m thinking of a pornstar.
Masterbation is literally fantasy. Guys are allowed sex toys, just like us.
The fact that he showed you says something. You’re going to stress yourself out worrying about nothing. It’s a *sex toy*. She’s not ruining your relationship, my advice is to not only allow it. It’s to get involved with it. Use it on him. Guys are allowed to feel pleasure, just like we are.
Those things are expensive! Im not gay in the least bit but if the inside feels like the same I’d get one modeled after a dudes ass if it meant saving some money.