What are characteristics that separate someone from a personal who you would want to date versus someone you see better as a friend?
I hope this doesn't come off as some kind of pity party, just genuinely looking for input. I'm a 37M and have a fair amount of friends who are women while not having much success in the dating scene. I've had one long relationship that went 6 years and outside of that, only a few dates/ hook ups here and there. The hook ups were exploratory after the break-up and I'm not overly big into the hook-up culture.
I am not overly masculine. I have a higher emotional intelligence, am communicative, and compassionate. I'm someone who leads more with my emotions, which I regulate well, but I'm not sure if these traits identify me as dateable. I struggle with cold approaches to women I find attractive in public as I want to be mindful of her space, and I usually refrain from flirting unless I'm aware that she is single and looking. I've had multiple instances in the past where the women I seem to attract are ones already in a relationship or are rebounding, which my friends would say is because I can empathize with them and am a good listener and can nurture a deeper connection. Neither of those situations are ones I want to find myself in, and usually whatever connection is formed is short lived.
I don't want to "change" myself for others, though I am cognizant and reflective of when I need to grow or learn from mistakes. Just not sure how I can improve my dating life.