I’ve been dating a guy for a little over a month now. We’re both in our 30s and have been on 5 dates, though some of them lasted a few days. Our dates are great. We go to museums, try new restaurants, go on walks, etc. We’ve been intimate, he holds my hand and kisses me in public, and he never lets me pay for anything. He’s cheerful, considerate, and basically has a golden-retriever personality, but I feel like I don’t really know him.
For example, he hasn’t told me his last name. I haven’t asked but also, the topic never came up. We only communicate through text (he gave me his number) because we haven’t exchanged social media. I did manage to google him (he’s not hard to find) so I know he’s a real person, but it still feels strange that things stay very surface-level. Another thing is that he usually texts me 2–3 days after our last date. Sometimes I initiate, but often I’m the last one who texted before the previous date so I hold off because I don’t want to seem “desperate”. On our last date I did ask him if he wants to keep seeing me and he said, “Yeah, I’m having fun. Are you?” and I said yes. That’s it.
He does ask me questions about myself but, like I said, they’re very surface-level. Like, “what’s your favourite type of chocolate?” “Do you have any allergies?” “How was your day?” “Oh, that’s nice” “Oh that’s not good” 🙂↕️
He asks me questions about how they do things from my country but nothing about my family or even my opinions on things. I try to ask him these questions but his replies also don’t give me anything to work on. It’s like he wants to keep things light and easy, whereas i can talk to a person for 8 hours just learning everything about them.
The thing is, I actually don’t mind a “relaxed” arrangement. I’m focusing on my studies, career, and taking care of my mom right now. But I’d also like someone to talk to and check up on me, not just disappear between dates.
I know the obvious answer is to ask him point blank, what he’s looking for, but I’m worried that doing so will make him pull away. Our last date was 4 days ago and he hasn’t contacted me since. We’re both busy this weekend so we already know we won’t be able to meet but, a part of me wonders if this is it—he’s finally losing interest, or if this is just who he is as a person..and bringing up exclusivity or expectations might scare him away as it might imply that I’m more attached than I actually am.