I (27F) matched with a guy (28M).

Had cutesy flirty banter and 3-4 hour long conversations with him every day for 10 days. Then i went out with him – and it was one of the best first dates ever. He asked to hold my hand every time i let go, side hugs and kisses over a lovely lunch. Followed up after the date and we both agreed it was something we wanted to do again and that we did like each other a lot. Super reassuring all around

Then he goes to another city for work – I even dropped him off at the airport which was something he was super giddy about because no one outside of family had ever seen him off. He was supposed to be in the other city for 2 weeks. 2 days after he flew out, he stops texting and is borderline ghosting me. He says it’s because of work but it feels unsettling regardless. Especially because of the lack of communication

I just sent a text today about how I liked our conversations and going out with him and I’d like to do that again when he’s back in town. That seemed like the most rational course of action to take here. All I got in return was “I’m super swamped with work and having mixed feelings about the possibility of having to extend my visit at the moment”.

I understand that because it’s still new and if it isn’t something he wants, I’ll just cut my losses

Such a fucking whiplash all in 3 weeks’ worth of time because this was after so long that I actually really liked someone. Because I’ve been single for 3 years at this point and his behaviour before this week was just so lovely


4 comments

  1. I’ve noticed 3-4weeks in is when the charade starts to drop.
    I’d honestly just mentally categorize this situation as over.
    Some people are obsessed with novelty and thrill

  2. He’s a narcissist and probably found someone else to get narcissistic supply from. Be glad you are free of him. Been there done that.

  3. Guys like this are masters at the first month, because the feeling of getting another one. Beyond that that have no desire to maintain a relationship due to the fact it won’t fulfill their needs and also because its uncharted territory.

  4. I know its hard, because you have been single for a long period of time.

    You had only one date with him. I mean, you don’t know him, honestly. For sure, there were chemistry. Happy for you.

    Please, don’t give up. There are plenty of wonderful men outside. You need only one great guy, right?

    Restore the faith in yourself. After three years you got into dating pool. So, it’s going to be up and down, but that’s a life. We are learning from experiences, What we like, don’t like…🫶

    Be brave, believe that you deserve the best, and swim…

    I wish you all the best! 🫶💪

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