I (29F) am in a failing marriage that I am unable to currently leave and I just want to know how some of you do it. I can’t seem to emotionally detach myself although I’m extremely unhappy. My husband (34 M), who I have been with for almost 11 years, has been unemployed for 5 years, partly due to alcohol abuse after a thyroid cancer diagnosis that was thankfully resolved after they removed his thyroid. He started drinking after that but that’s a whole other post. I actually did leave for about 8 months at one point and even filed for divorce but his father (who was also like my father) passed away and I roped myself back into the relationship. He met one year sober and I felt safe enough and revoked the divorce which I am now regretting. I take full responsibility for these decisions, but now I am stuck for what feels like permanently and I’m unable to leave due to lack of financials. He tells me the sweetest words but his actions never show it. He comes to bed at 4-5 am after playing video games all night and sleeps in past noon most days. He won’t apply for jobs even and is completely able bodied. I have to work overtime to pay the bills because our credit cards have gotten run up and I can no longer afford all the bills on my own at my baseline salary. I’m an ICU nurse and I am starting to feel exhausted both physically and mentally. We have a 3 year old and he is a wonderful dad for the most part. Our son is so attached to both of us and had a hard time when we were separated the first time and I don’t want to do that again to our son, not that I have the money to move anyways. It’s to the point his mom is having to send me money to help pay bills. He just takes my card without even telling me and goes to buy whatever and overdraws my account. I still love him very much and I can’t understand why he just won’t try to get a job to help me and tells me I only care about money. I’m embarrassed for putting myself in this position and I just need to know how to help me emotionally handle it because I am tired of going to bed crying every night and having my face swollen from it. I just get told that I am mean and “don’t need to treat him like this” when I am just sitting there begging him to get a job to take some financial burden off of me. I am a very emotional person and he seems very avoidant. I will try to talk things out and he just absolutely refuses to acknowledge me and walks away. I told him I am unhappy but nothing changes and if it does it’s only for a week. Thank you to those who read this and have advice to just help me get through this emotionally.