(19M for reference)
So yeah, not an ideal spot to be in. I realise that it's my own fault for not being outgoing or confident or extroverted enough to even try being social.
I was bullied and isolated all throughout school, simply for being quiet and unpopular. Essentially, I kept telling myself that being by myself forever was a GOOD thing, and the fear of judgment or mockery from people has basically crippled me. I know it seems like the easy solution is to just start diving head-first into social situations and endure a bit of awkwardness.
But I can't see it as being so harmless. After so long being alone, people could pick up on something being "off." I would be a rigid, obtrusive presence on people for being so underdeveloped as a person. I don't even have any fond teenage memories to share or connect over.