I’ve tried not to be the person who sits in the corner saying nothing but I’ve never been able to break out of that trap and I’m almost 30 now. I never know what to say or how to segue into conversation, apart from one or two banal observational comments that don’t go anywhere. It’s not necessarily anxiety so much as my mind going completely blank. I can prep some basic conversation topics in advance, but once I’m actually in a crowded room or at a party it all goes out the window. On the rare occasion I do remember them they dry up fast and then I’m back where I started. I try to ask some open ended questions but I often can’t come up with anything or they don‘t go far. I feel like my presence often makes people uncomfortable because I struggle to engage.
1 comment
Practice talking with yourself. Ask yourself what you think or interject your own thoughts to topics you read about or are watching on tv. Pause of you want and do it as your learning about it. Or if you watch a youtube video where it asks you a question right before it starts to get into the answer, answer it to yourself first. Do it out loud. This seriously helps your tongue and mouth movements in general.
Then plan a very trusted and rehearsed top 5 topics. Nothing really obscure or very controversial. Safe topics that interest you and you, I either know a lot of or are passionate about. Rehearse them all the time. Baby steps, bring ONE up and if the conversation dies off, let it. Chefs knives down. “Well it was nice talking to you. I better go to the ladies room before a line forms.” Or whatever to get out of the conversation. Success. Then keep going.
I can talk about nothing, youd be surprised by how little we’ve talked about but have talked for 4 hours straight 😂. But this is how i learned. I have about 15 basic things I can bring up now but start small and I do still have my top 5 I used to use lol. But you gotta practice and you gotta keep trying. Exposure is the only way.