Preface: I’m Autistic (late diagnosed at 22, now 25)
I don’t really know what to do. Me (25F) and my bestie (27F) got into an argument and I said I didn’t want to be friends anymore. We both claim to be each others best friend. Which is why I’m so hurt about this, because I feel like I’m losing my person. I have been asking her to put in some more effort when it comes to making decisions within the relationship. For about three months now (friends for 1 year) I’ve been asking her to make more decisions because it feels like I’m the only one making decisions. I pick the movies, food, activities, etc. If it wasn’t for me, we would be sitting around and doing nothing. When we get together, we kinda just get food and watch tv. Which, don’t get me wrong, I enjoy doing that from time to time. Money is not an issue (we aren’t ballin lol, both are servers) but there are PLENTY of free activities that we can do since we live in a VERY large city. I’ve tried to get her to make choices for us but get nothing. It’s usually “whatever you want to do eat.” I’ve told her this on countless occasions that my love language is acts of service. Which means making plans from time to time. When I tell her how these things make me feel, she kind of spazzes on me. Claims that I’m attacking her, making her out to be a bad friend, that she has to put on this big show for me to be satisfied, that these conversations stress her out. But the thing is, she can go and do fun activities with her other friends. When I asked why Im not afforded the same experiences, she says “I wouldn’t like those things. (Bars, clubs, restaurants, concerts, art shows….which I do enjoy those things, since I’m an artist….ive worked in clubs like cmon. I’ve been to plenty of events in my time lol) That’s a sacrifice I make for those friendships” Which I mean…. Why can’t you make a sacrifice for me? And make some plans? Anyway, the day after our argument I said I don’t want to be friends anymore. I really do value reciprocation in any type of relationship. Yes, she’s there for me emotionally, that’s about it. She has invited me to things in the past (two things. I didn’t go due to a major depression episode. Still currently in. She’s aware of this). I’m just torn and unsure of what to do. Anyway, I feel terrible and like I’ve thrown it away. But I can only ask for so much without getting what I need.
Any advice, constructive criticism, comments etc is welcome :))
TLDR: Friend doesn’t put in the same amount of effort, I got upset and called things off. What should I do?