If you’re someone who isn’t ok with your girlfriend or wife having male friends, how does this affect your dating and relationship life?
March 9, 2026
And what are your reasons for not being ok with it? How has not being ok with it benefitted you?
36 comments
“Male friends” is overly broad. My wife is friends with men, and it doesn’t bother me at all. However, in the divorce sub the other day, a woman mentioned that she was married, yet she had a maintained a male friend that she frequently went out with one-on-one, did drugs with, and she would invite him to ANYTHING that her husband didn’t want to do. I had a problem with that one.
I don’t mind my wife having men friends. I would mind my wife entertaining my always-ready replacement.
There is no reason. There’s no mature reason to limit your partner’s social interaction or friends based on their gender. That says more about you than them. If you trust your partner then it wouldn’t matter what gender their friends are. What if theyre bi? Does that mean no friends? If you don’t truat them then you need to work on that instead of pushing your insecurities on them
If you’re not okay with your partner having opposite gender friends (or i suppose same gender friends if you’re a same-sex couple) then you have broad trust issues that will impact other aspects of the relationship eventually, even if you’re able to agree on this specific point.
My wife and I arent ‘not okay with having opposite gender friends’ but neither of us do, we know people of the opposite gender, are friendly at soical gathers, etc but we dont hang out alone with the opposite gender. It just seems weird to both of us. Why would I want to go hang out with another woman alone? What do I have to say to a woman that isnt my wife? Literally nothing. If I want to talk to a woman ill talk to her.
Then you should not be with women. Women can be friends with either sex if you are afraid of an affair too damn bad.
Yes my replacements were fun guys
Speaking as someone who knows – sometimes they get with female friends too.
Oh I know someone like that. Turns out every accusation really is a confession. Homegirl was cheating on my cousin with her ex via text and then physically when she went to visit our home town.
The 2 male people I know who are like this are either terminally online and single or in a very toxic relationship with a girl who is trying to escape
I’m only ok with my wife having gay male friends, and I have to personally test that they are gay.
I genuinely can’t imagine what it must be like to not be okay with your SO having friends of the opposite sex. If you are that insecure and untrusting of your girl, why are you with her?
If you can’t deal with a female partner’s male friends, you don’t deserve a female partner
I think where men have an issue with this is where their gf or wives have male friends but frown on their bf or husbands having female friends.
Also, the context/extent of the friendship matters too.
If this is an ex-boyfriend that they talk to regularly, then that is an issue I wouldn’t be okay with and probably wouldn’t date someone that has those types of male friends.
Also depends on how often they talk or hangout with the male friends.
We live in reality and shit can happen very quickly where lines get crossed because you are out with your opposite sex friend, you’re drinking, etc…
I’ve known a lot of men that trusted their female significant other and got burned for it.
Its all about the girl and if you trust her or not. Some women just vibe better with men.
I have a friend group with one woman and all dudes. Her bf is ok with it, he even knows one of the guys has/had it bad for her. But he trusted her with him because he know she didn’t like him like that in anyway. Nothing ever even remotely happened. Except for innuendos about everything. It would get awkward and annoying at times
My ex cheated on me so that left me weary of a partner hanging out with “friends”. Similarly my wife suffered from her father abandoning the family, and anything that could be interpreted as unfaithfulness made her uneasy. As a result we both stayed away from opposite sex friends.
Not having to worry about your partner getting into questionable circumstances felt very liberating and removed a huge concern. That is until she unilaterally changed it.
I feel opposite gender friendships should have some established boundaries and people have a legit reasons question them… If your wife/gf is crossing these boundaries with her male bestie then dump her immediately.. Also, I feel after a certain age like mid 30s friendship with the opposite gender becomes so meaningless/dull.
depends on the age bracket as well as other factors but in general straight men and straight women do not have the ability to maintain completely platonic relationships. this does not mean it’s impossible but the boundaries will almost always be crossed by one party or the other if two people of the opposite sex spend enough time together.
A lot of these takes are wild. Like a lot of y’all were probably the same male friend orbiting some female they shouldn’t have. For my wife and I there’s no friend that is hidden or opposite gender interaction that isn’t known. It’s not a possessiveness or trust issue it’s a respect issue. If you came back home and she’s hanging out her male best friend watching movies you aren’t gonna say,”Oh man I missed the big climax!”. It was possibly a lot of little climaxes.
It really comes down to what you and your partner are comfortable with. My fiance and I agree that it’s okay to have friends of the opposite sex who are grandfathered in, but not new ones. We also agreed the ones that are grandfathered in cannot have had an attraction in the past.
I have absolutely no issue with my SO having friends of the opposite sex, staying friends with Ex’s or anything else for that matter.. Hell she even shared a hotel room at a wedding reception with a guy we both worked with ‘with my full knowledge and blessing.. not that she needs my permission I might add.. she had the bed and he had the floor.. why wasn’t that an issue? Because we have an incredibly high level of respect for each other built on years of honesty and very open conversation, we trust each other 100%, never lie to each other, and reward that trust by never betraying it no matter what.. there is never an excuse.
Hell it’s far more likely she would ring me up out of sheer honesty, tell me what she wanted to do ‘before’ she did anything and ask me if we could all have some fun together. But I know for a fact she would never do anything behind my back, or anything I didn’t agree to…. Simply because she doesn’t ‘need’ to. She has freedom to be her own person.. I don’t own her.
Pretty much the only rule we have is that 1-1 interaction outside of the workplace or work social events is never of a nature that could be considered by the other as of a romantic nature. Ie no 1-1 evening meals at restaurants , nights out 1-1 or cinema trips 1-1 etc because it’s disrespectful to our relationship even if there is no sexual or romantic intent. It’s not the ‘action’ but the ‘image’ it portrays. Lunch dates and coffees and 1-1 catch-ups – no issue whatsoever,
As Ive got older Ive come to realise that the more you try to control somebody, the more likely it is they will find a way to fight that control.. the more paranoid you are, the more it erodes the relationship because it’s a clear indicator of not only insecurity, but also trust… who the hell wants to spend their life with somebody who doesn’t trust them.
We both have opposite sex friends but they are friends with distance and boundaries. If someone new came into the equation that was closer than normal we would both be open to discussion and readjustment.
If we weren’t the path to divorce would be started.
I’m 21M and I believe that it’s essential for your partner to have friends of the opposite sex however, I made it clear to my partner that any random new friends out of the blue would make me question things, the only guy friends she has were guys that she has known from before me and has been best friends with and that’s the same for me, I don’t have any new girl friends only the girls that I knew before her that are clear friends
Ive lived and seen enough to know that trust is mostly fictional, am single.
It’s not the friendship that is the issue. It is how the interactions with the friends go. If she is putting more effort into the friendship than she is the relationship that is an issue. If the friend is interfering in our relationship or trying to monopolize her time, that is an issue. If she is doing things with the individual that has bad optics and she is unwilling to discuss or change the optics, then that is an issue. If he is giving off vibes that he wants more, that is an issue. Being friends is not the issue, it is the whole dynamic.
Same exact reasons women don’t want us doing the exact same thing.
🤣🤷🏽♂️
Did you think this was some cosmic secret? We think she’s very cool and sexy. We think other men will think this too, and try to sleep with her.
It’s a legitimate concern. We know how many men are. because we are also men. Just because we have those feelings and desires doesn’t always mean that we act one them. But you can be DAMN SURE. That the thought does cross their minds.
Which is why it’s important to trust your partner. 👍
Ha more like the other way around in my house. My wife goes crazy when any other female is around.
Any man that has a problem with his lady having male friends is a coward. If the only way you think your lady won’t leave you is isolation, you fucking suck. I’d leave my woman alone in a room with super models and millionaires no problem. 1) I’m 101% confident she’s coming home to me. 2) if she isn’t, there’s no amount of neurotic loser ass babysitting that’s going to stop that. If you can’t trust her to be alone with a dude, that’s a you problem.
This is one of those things where the devil is in the detail.
There’s a very clear line between a friend, and a ‘friend’ who clearly wants to fuck her. Either with her being genuinely naive or playing dumb.
Hard to describe, but immediately obvious when you see it
It weeds out potential drama early in dating, since I set that boundary upfront. Main reason is avoiding situations where lines could blur into emotional affairs. It’s kept my relationships more focused and secure without unnecessary stress.
They just didn’t have them when we met. There’s actually quite a lot of women out there that don’t need to hang out with other men and have more traditional relationships with their boyfriend. Sure, they have men they are friends with from a long time ago or guys they work with or run into. But they don’t hang out with them one on one.
I mean, like all my girlfriends and my ex wife. They never had a bunch of guy friends.
Male friends are fine as long as boundaries are established and respected. Neither my wife or I seek connections with the opposite sex outside of what is deemed necessary, professional or expected.
As an electrician, I work for many single females in their homes for days on end. Every so often they will flirt, compliment my body, praise me, even invite me to something one on one, to which I politely thank them but decline and refer back to my busy family schedule as my priority etc.
We still have a great relationship, but I keep
It surface level and silly, and pull back if the subject matter gets too personal.
My best friend left a woman he loves because she entertained other men platonically, and he has never been happier. She is back to spinning plates and hating the world like she always has, and blames men for all her problems.
Beautiful girl, but she just doesn’t respect boundaries and is alone as a result. I feel bad for the guy who ends up submitting to her.
I found a woman that doesn’t want me hanging out alone with other women, and she’s not a hypocrite.
Depends on who her male friends are if I’m ok with it or not.
I’m not insecure, I don’t have a problem with male friendships but I draw the line at “you vs the guy she told you not to worry about” type of situations.
I don’t think it’s women(in relationships) are actively trying to cheat(some are) but more so they aren’t very bright to men’s intentions and that they don’t care if they are in a relationship or if the woman is in a relationship! So they will easily be duped into committing adultery!
RARELY…and i mean only on extremely obviously inappropriate or dangerous occasions would i even consider mentioning to my SO that I am not ok with that specific male friend.
Otherwise, I am an adult and dont have an immature outlook on my SO having male friends.
It doesn’t affect it much. Some women get mad about it when I tell them my boundary. But every time I tolerated it they ended up cheating. So if they don’t like it they can walk.
To make it more interesting, my oldest friend is a woman. But there was never a single romantic thing between us. We haven’t seen each other in years but we talk a few times a year. She always respected my relationships and I respected hers.
36 comments
“Male friends” is overly broad. My wife is friends with men, and it doesn’t bother me at all. However, in the divorce sub the other day, a woman mentioned that she was married, yet she had a maintained a male friend that she frequently went out with one-on-one, did drugs with, and she would invite him to ANYTHING that her husband didn’t want to do. I had a problem with that one.
I don’t mind my wife having men friends. I would mind my wife entertaining my always-ready replacement.
There is no reason. There’s no mature reason to limit your partner’s social interaction or friends based on their gender. That says more about you than them. If you trust your partner then it wouldn’t matter what gender their friends are. What if theyre bi? Does that mean no friends? If you don’t truat them then you need to work on that instead of pushing your insecurities on them
If you’re not okay with your partner having opposite gender friends (or i suppose same gender friends if you’re a same-sex couple) then you have broad trust issues that will impact other aspects of the relationship eventually, even if you’re able to agree on this specific point.
My wife and I arent ‘not okay with having opposite gender friends’ but neither of us do, we know people of the opposite gender, are friendly at soical gathers, etc but we dont hang out alone with the opposite gender. It just seems weird to both of us. Why would I want to go hang out with another woman alone? What do I have to say to a woman that isnt my wife? Literally nothing. If I want to talk to a woman ill talk to her.
Then you should not be with women. Women can be friends with either sex if you are afraid of an affair too damn bad.
Yes my replacements were fun guys
Speaking as someone who knows – sometimes they get with female friends too.
Oh I know someone like that. Turns out every accusation really is a confession. Homegirl was cheating on my cousin with her ex via text and then physically when she went to visit our home town.
The 2 male people I know who are like this are either terminally online and single or in a very toxic relationship with a girl who is trying to escape
I’m only ok with my wife having gay male friends, and I have to personally test that they are gay.
I genuinely can’t imagine what it must be like to not be okay with your SO having friends of the opposite sex. If you are that insecure and untrusting of your girl, why are you with her?
If you can’t deal with a female partner’s male friends, you don’t deserve a female partner
I think where men have an issue with this is where their gf or wives have male friends but frown on their bf or husbands having female friends.
Also, the context/extent of the friendship matters too.
If this is an ex-boyfriend that they talk to regularly, then that is an issue I wouldn’t be okay with and probably wouldn’t date someone that has those types of male friends.
Also depends on how often they talk or hangout with the male friends.
We live in reality and shit can happen very quickly where lines get crossed because you are out with your opposite sex friend, you’re drinking, etc…
I’ve known a lot of men that trusted their female significant other and got burned for it.
Its all about the girl and if you trust her or not. Some women just vibe better with men.
I have a friend group with one woman and all dudes. Her bf is ok with it, he even knows one of the guys has/had it bad for her. But he trusted her with him because he know she didn’t like him like that in anyway. Nothing ever even remotely happened. Except for innuendos about everything. It would get awkward and annoying at times
My ex cheated on me so that left me weary of a partner hanging out with “friends”. Similarly my wife suffered from her father abandoning the family, and anything that could be interpreted as unfaithfulness made her uneasy. As a result we both stayed away from opposite sex friends.
Not having to worry about your partner getting into questionable circumstances felt very liberating and removed a huge concern. That is until she unilaterally changed it.
I feel opposite gender friendships should have some established boundaries and people have a legit reasons question them… If your wife/gf is crossing these boundaries with her male bestie then dump her immediately.. Also, I feel after a certain age like mid 30s friendship with the opposite gender becomes so meaningless/dull.
depends on the age bracket as well as other factors but in general straight men and straight women do not have the ability to maintain completely platonic relationships. this does not mean it’s impossible but the boundaries will almost always be crossed by one party or the other if two people of the opposite sex spend enough time together.
A lot of these takes are wild. Like a lot of y’all were probably the same male friend orbiting some female they shouldn’t have. For my wife and I there’s no friend that is hidden or opposite gender interaction that isn’t known. It’s not a possessiveness or trust issue it’s a respect issue. If you came back home and she’s hanging out her male best friend watching movies you aren’t gonna say,”Oh man I missed the big climax!”. It was possibly a lot of little climaxes.
It really comes down to what you and your partner are comfortable with. My fiance and I agree that it’s okay to have friends of the opposite sex who are grandfathered in, but not new ones. We also agreed the ones that are grandfathered in cannot have had an attraction in the past.
I have absolutely no issue with my SO having friends of the opposite sex, staying friends with Ex’s or anything else for that matter.. Hell she even shared a hotel room at a wedding reception with a guy we both worked with ‘with my full knowledge and blessing.. not that she needs my permission I might add.. she had the bed and he had the floor.. why wasn’t that an issue? Because we have an incredibly high level of respect for each other built on years of honesty and very open conversation, we trust each other 100%, never lie to each other, and reward that trust by never betraying it no matter what.. there is never an excuse.
Hell it’s far more likely she would ring me up out of sheer honesty, tell me what she wanted to do ‘before’ she did anything and ask me if we could all have some fun together. But I know for a fact she would never do anything behind my back, or anything I didn’t agree to…. Simply because she doesn’t ‘need’ to. She has freedom to be her own person.. I don’t own her.
Pretty much the only rule we have is that 1-1 interaction outside of the workplace or work social events is never of a nature that could be considered by the other as of a romantic nature. Ie no 1-1 evening meals at restaurants , nights out 1-1 or cinema trips 1-1 etc because it’s disrespectful to our relationship even if there is no sexual or romantic intent. It’s not the ‘action’ but the ‘image’ it portrays. Lunch dates and coffees and 1-1 catch-ups – no issue whatsoever,
As Ive got older Ive come to realise that the more you try to control somebody, the more likely it is they will find a way to fight that control.. the more paranoid you are, the more it erodes the relationship because it’s a clear indicator of not only insecurity, but also trust… who the hell wants to spend their life with somebody who doesn’t trust them.
We both have opposite sex friends but they are friends with distance and boundaries. If someone new came into the equation that was closer than normal we would both be open to discussion and readjustment.
If we weren’t the path to divorce would be started.
I’m 21M and I believe that it’s essential for your partner to have friends of the opposite sex however, I made it clear to my partner that any random new friends out of the blue would make me question things, the only guy friends she has were guys that she has known from before me and has been best friends with and that’s the same for me, I don’t have any new girl friends only the girls that I knew before her that are clear friends
Ive lived and seen enough to know that trust is mostly fictional, am single.
It’s not the friendship that is the issue. It is how the interactions with the friends go. If she is putting more effort into the friendship than she is the relationship that is an issue. If the friend is interfering in our relationship or trying to monopolize her time, that is an issue. If she is doing things with the individual that has bad optics and she is unwilling to discuss or change the optics, then that is an issue. If he is giving off vibes that he wants more, that is an issue. Being friends is not the issue, it is the whole dynamic.
Same exact reasons women don’t want us doing the exact same thing.
🤣🤷🏽♂️
Did you think this was some cosmic secret? We think she’s very cool and sexy. We think other men will think this too, and try to sleep with her.
It’s a legitimate concern. We know how many men are. because we are also men. Just because we have those feelings and desires doesn’t always mean that we act one them. But you can be DAMN SURE. That the thought does cross their minds.
Which is why it’s important to trust your partner. 👍
Ha more like the other way around in my house. My wife goes crazy when any other female is around.
Any man that has a problem with his lady having male friends is a coward. If the only way you think your lady won’t leave you is isolation, you fucking suck. I’d leave my woman alone in a room with super models and millionaires no problem. 1) I’m 101% confident she’s coming home to me. 2) if she isn’t, there’s no amount of neurotic loser ass babysitting that’s going to stop that. If you can’t trust her to be alone with a dude, that’s a you problem.
This is one of those things where the devil is in the detail.
There’s a very clear line between a friend, and a ‘friend’ who clearly wants to fuck her. Either with her being genuinely naive or playing dumb.
Hard to describe, but immediately obvious when you see it
It weeds out potential drama early in dating, since I set that boundary upfront. Main reason is avoiding situations where lines could blur into emotional affairs. It’s kept my relationships more focused and secure without unnecessary stress.
They just didn’t have them when we met. There’s actually quite a lot of women out there that don’t need to hang out with other men and have more traditional relationships with their boyfriend. Sure, they have men they are friends with from a long time ago or guys they work with or run into. But they don’t hang out with them one on one.
I mean, like all my girlfriends and my ex wife. They never had a bunch of guy friends.
Male friends are fine as long as boundaries are established and respected. Neither my wife or I seek connections with the opposite sex outside of what is deemed necessary, professional or expected.
As an electrician, I work for many single females in their homes for days on end. Every so often they will flirt, compliment my body, praise me, even invite me to something one on one, to which I politely thank them but decline and refer back to my busy family schedule as my priority etc.
We still have a great relationship, but I keep
It surface level and silly, and pull back if the subject matter gets too personal.
My best friend left a woman he loves because she entertained other men platonically, and he has never been happier. She is back to spinning plates and hating the world like she always has, and blames men for all her problems.
Beautiful girl, but she just doesn’t respect boundaries and is alone as a result. I feel bad for the guy who ends up submitting to her.
I found a woman that doesn’t want me hanging out alone with other women, and she’s not a hypocrite.
Depends on who her male friends are if I’m ok with it or not.
I’m not insecure, I don’t have a problem with male friendships but I draw the line at “you vs the guy she told you not to worry about” type of situations.
I don’t think it’s women(in relationships) are actively trying to cheat(some are) but more so they aren’t very bright to men’s intentions and that they don’t care if they are in a relationship or if the woman is in a relationship! So they will easily be duped into committing adultery!
RARELY…and i mean only on extremely obviously inappropriate or dangerous occasions would i even consider mentioning to my SO that I am not ok with that specific male friend.
Otherwise, I am an adult and dont have an immature outlook on my SO having male friends.
It doesn’t affect it much. Some women get mad about it when I tell them my boundary. But every time I tolerated it they ended up cheating. So if they don’t like it they can walk.
To make it more interesting, my oldest friend is a woman. But there was never a single romantic thing between us. We haven’t seen each other in years but we talk a few times a year. She always respected my relationships and I respected hers.