It's kind of hard to summarize the situation enough to fit into a title- and the hike itself isn't the main point but I feel like explaining what happened gives context… please don't give me advice about safe hiking practice because I already know (especially now), and I'm already beating myself up about it.
Basically, I went on a loop trail to a waterfall that was listed as taking about 1 – 1.5 hours total. I had 3 hours until dark, and I'm moderately experienced with hiking so I thought I had plenty of time. The waterfall was at the halfway point, but I hadn't reached it by halfway to sunset. I would have turned around, but it began pouring rain making the trail muddy and slick. I remembered that earlier in the walk there was some sketchy parts of the path that would be even more scary to walk on now that they were wet. I assumed that the waterfall HAD to be coming soon since I'd been walking for so long.
By the time I had passed the waterfall it was civil twilight and I had 30 minutes to dark. I was walking as quickly as I could safely manage traveling along a rainy cliff, but it got pitch black and I was still very high up on this mountain. At this point I'm afraid. I know there are mountain lions, bears, and coyotes in the surrounding areas- and I'm hiking alone in the dark. The path is difficult to see clearly with my phones built in flashlight, and the rain on my glasses is not making it easier. Nobody knows I'm on this hike. I'm feeling like a total dolt.
I call the person closest to me (my boyfriend of two years whom I live with)- because I'm 5 minutes to a massive panic attack. I've NEVER done this before. I do not just get myself into dumb situations and call him to comfort me or rescue me all the time (or ever). I don't call him hysterical and use him as an emotional crutch to calm down.
I want him to know where I am so he can call for help if needed (ex- I slip and fall but lose my phone when I'm falling, he knows where I am so he can call 911- who can then rescue me). I also just need somebody to talk to me as a distraction from the harrowing dread of running into a large angry bear in the dark. I was so relieved when he answered the phone. I explained that I was on a mountain trail, it became dark/rainy, I didn't know how much further I had to walk, I couldn't see good , and I was really scared. He expressed sympathy that I was scared and asked if I needed help. I said I didn't need anyone to come get me, but that I was really anxious because of all the reasons I'd explained. Before I could say much else he said he was at his friend's house and had to go because they were starting, and he needed to show them how to play. I said "you're hanging up on me when I'm in a perilous situation to play games with your friends?" He said it was me who put myself in the situation. I just responded with "wow". He made some "joke" I didn't quite hear, repeated again that he had to go, and hung up before I responded.
I got back to my car 15 minutes later, and sent a text that it actually upset me when he did that and let him know I made it back to my car, but he hasn't even opened the message 4 hours later (apparently not at all concerned about whether I made it down safe or not) Since this is the first time I've really needed his help, and this is how he responded I don't know if I can trust that he will be there for me in the future. When I googled looking for similar situations all I got was "alpine divorce" and " how to leave a dangerous relationship" neither of which feel accurate to my situation.
My last relationship was with an emotionally unavailable and highly avoidant girl who left me and then married my best friend under a year later, so I feel like this is simultaneously hypervigilance and me gaslighting myself that it's actually not that big of a deal. My current bf and I haven't had much conflict and I'm nervous about repeating a pattern unknowingly. My question is how can I tell if this was a one off or if it's how he responds to me needing help, what can I look for to be sure I'm not unknowingly falling into the same type of relationship as last time, and how can I best communicate my feelings appropriately and proportionately to the situation?
TlDr- I went on a hike and didn't tell anyone my location. It was longer than expected so it became dark. There was a sudden downpour creating hazardous trail conditions. I felt like a dolt and got super scared so I called my boyfriend, who was preoccupied doing game night with the boys and hung up on me after telling me I was the one who put myself in that situation. P.S. Im SO sorry to the people who had to read this without line breaks. I've added them now.