hey everyone, so basically I started talking to this guy in september because we had a friend in common and were going to the same concert. he was planning on going alone so i said that if he wanted he could join me and my other friend (19F). we all went together and it was nice. after the concert we kept talking about many other things besides that and one thing led to another, by the end of january we were going on our first date. tbh i never had really strong feelings for him, and i usually get obsessive, so i guess that should've been my first sign. he did everything right: he bought me a small gift, paid for lunch, and was a gentleman in general. now we've been hanging out like once a week, and this has been going on for a month. we also text a lot, every day, since we study in different cities and can only meet up on the weekends. the thing is: we're not dating yet (like bf and gf) and he's already a bit intense. he says that he likes me a lot, and even asked me when it would be okay for him to ask me to be his girlfriend. the thing is, i don't know him well enough to know if i want to be his girlfriend. i need time to know if i genuinely like him. right now texting him is boring and doesn't make me feel excited, but i feel bad for him because i told him i liked him, we kissed and made out, and we have a thing planned for may (i told him i was going and if he wanted to join us he could). in my defense i actually thought i was starting to like him, but he's too clingy and a bit dependent and i just think i don't like him that much. however, i'm not sure if this is stemming from my attachment issues, meaning that with time i might get more comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship and accepting affection. but i could also just not like him that much, and i don't want to manipulate/lead him on yk? i'm afraid i'm just being avoidant because we have stuff in common, he treats me super well, and when i'm with him i enjoy it, especially the holding hands and kissing; the problem is when i'm alone and start thinking about him. i feel a bit grossed out and disgusted by the proximity. i also feel like i'm being toxic and manipulative , but i'm just confused and unsure on how to act because i've never been in a relationship before and don't want to get myself into something i'm not sure i like or want, since that would be unfair to him. he's genuinely sweet and likes me, and i feel disgust for myself for feeling like this. i feel ashamed for feeling like this but i feel a bit trapped, and when he says stuff like "i really like you", "when someday i meet your mom…", "im gonna give you a lot of kisses" and just starts planning ahead i get grossed out and scared. i feel the need to leave immediately but i like when we're together in person. i also still feel attracted to other guys, but i'd never do anything about it and don't even think of commenting on it obviously. ofc i like him, i enjoy kissing him, i like when we talk about music and when he holds my waist and I find him fairly attractive. i know you can't decide this for me, but has anyone experienced something similar? if so, how did you deal with it and how did it go?
TL;DR: i've been seeing this super sweet and thoughtful guy for a month and i'm not sure if i want to cut things off with him because i'm avoidant or if it's just cause i don't like him that much. i'm afraid to be manipulative and mean because he's really nice and definitely doesn't deserve it.