Bear with me and imagine this… a young twenty something couple date each other for 5 years and have a very rocky relationship during that span. Somehow, some way, and very unfortunately, they decide to get married and have their first child together, 3 years after marrying.
Husband goes on a business trip soon after the first child is born and meets a married woman he dances and makes out with. A few months later they hookup for sex, although they live 400 miles apart the drive must have been worth it. Over the course of the next 10 years and several children later, they have 3 or 4 more such hookup encounters…sex with no strings attached.
12 years in, the cheating woman's husband discovers a suggestive text between the two. He phones the innocent wife of the cheating husband and mails her a copy of the text message, and the rest is history…the cheaters never speak to each other again.
Amazingly, the first couple remains together today, 20+ years after the first cheating episode. The resentment is thick and has been for a decade. They live together under the same roof, their 3 children are grown and gone. Days go by with nary a word spoken to each other. They can ride in the same car for several hours without speaking a word to each other. They have slept in separate bedrooms since before the cheating was discovered with ZERO intimacy in the relationship. The wife doesn't even want to accept compliments. She can't forget and probably can't forgive. She hates him for what he did to her, but yet she stays. There are No date nights. No hugs. No holding hands. No physical touch whatsoever. There are No "good mornings" nor "good nights". No fighting. No feelings. Secretly, they both wish the other person would disappear for good.
At one time they may have had dreams of divorcing for new beginnings, but something kept them together. It surely wasn't love of one another or companionship. Was it possibly the children or perhaps finances? Maybe neither had the courage or confidence to start over again? Possibly all of the above. The years are moving along now as they both are in their late 50's, and they probably will spend the rest of their tortuous years together, sad as it may be.
What keeps couples like this together, seemingly living a miserable, depressed existence? Do you think situations like this are common? It's very upsetting to see people spend their entire adult lives being perpetually unhappy and miserable. To me it's prison without the bars or guards.