For the first two years of dating my girlfriend, she would regularly give me these incredible blowjobs. It would only happen when she was on her period, which honestly felt like a really nice “intimacy bridge” when sex was off the table for us. It made me feel desired and wanted, and I appreciated that she’d initiate that. It was always on her terms, I never asked or told her to do this.
Then, about almost a year ago now, it just stopped. No conversation, no specific event that I can point to. Since then, I haven’t received oral at all.
What’s been bothering me isn’t just the act itself, it’s that it was something consistent I really enjoyed that suddenly disappeared. It makes me feel confused and a bit rejected, especially because there wasn’t any explanation. It also makes our sex life feel unbalanced to me, because I go down on her every single time we have sex. I genuinely enjoy doing that, especially because she enjoys it so much, but I’d be lying if I said the lack of reciprocity isn't starting to affect how I feel.
I don’t want this to turn into a transactional dynamic, and I would not want to pressure her into doing anything she doesn’t want to do. But I also can’t ignore that I feel hurt, confused, and less desired than I used to.
How would you approach having a conversation about this in a healthy way? Has anyone experienced something similar where a sexual dynamic just quietly changed over time for seemingly no reason? I haven't complained about it, so maybe it would catch her off guard if I brought this up. Also, I often see people online talking about the reverse – a man demanding regular blowjobs despite barely going down on their lady, curious if any else has an experience with this situation.