45+ M here. Feels awkward to ask such a question but…well, I'm just gonna ask it since there's hardly any friends I can ask such a question to. What do women here think about pegging? As you will see below, I have now expanded my search globally 🙂
So, I am going through a divorce after 15 years of sometimes great-sometimes sucky marriage. Since somebody is gonna ask, the divorce is happening because I wanted to come back to India and she didn't. No cheating, no affairs, no other trauma – totally mutual and amicable and after years of deliberations of trying to find a middle way. Before we decided to marry, we lived together for 2 years. She always knew I didn't want to live in the U.S. all my life and she was cool with it in the beginning but not later which is also okay. I believe people grow, their likes/dislikes change, their priorities change and each has the right to change their mind within reason. Okay, now that the backstory is done, I now find myself in India and back in the dating world. The pool is understandably small due to the age group I find myself in but more so for me because I have been very lucky, uh more like very blessed, with a phenomenal sexual life with my ex-wife and short dating life in the U.S. prior to the marriage. My own sexuality has evolved over the years and for the past decade have included my ex pegging me. Likewise her own sexual curiosity also evolved although when I initially brought up pegging to her, she had to convince herself with some research that that does not make me gay. She came to enjoy it tremendously and would often initiate it herself. I should mention here that she came to America from India when she was 6 and lived with her parents and two sisters in a large conservative joint family with her uncle and his family. She was a novice in bed when we started dating. Admittedly I was not a master either. Our sexual appetite grew together. We did everything but only with each other. Meaning, threesomes and such did not appeal to us. We were enough. So with her background, not enough dating or exposure (even in the U.S) she was quite submissive (beyond sexually as well). After marriage, living with her very liberal husband in a faraway and rather flashy city – compared to where she lived prior – she found freedom to express herself. She wanted to do everything and pegging especially turned her on because she felt dominant. Pegging gave her same pleasure as it did to me. This is not me speculating, she has told me a number of times. What obviously helped was, we were crazy in love. I mention her nationality and her background because I am aware that most Indians, at least in my experience, do not have such a varied and kinky sexual life. Again in my experience in the U.S. the "American" women were much more adventurous, at the least they were open minded and wanted to give it a try. I am not generalising, I am just speaking from my experience and knowledge of those in my friends circle and such. Sexual repertoire is highly personal and individualized. I understand that.
Now I have had a few dates in Mumbai, few with the same woman where convo turned to sexual likes n dislikes and well, she sorta ghosted me at the mention of pegging, although we discussed at length her needs and fantasies and even kinks. Couple of my female friends have told me "Haha, good luck finding such a woman here in India". My therapist, a female, told me very analytically that in India most women have sexual self-expression very low on the priority or need. If we consider Moslow's pyramid of hierarchy of needs, she wants safety, security and support system. This is not so much conscious as it is conditioned. She is obviously talking about pan India, across economic and cultural women population in India. I understand that, I totally get that it is so. And that is, somewhere selfishly, worrying for me, for my future sex life lol.
I am really fit for my age and have athletic build (Thanks regular swimming) and surprising to even me, I have become more horny in my middle age than I was in my 20s-30s or at least it feels so.
So the question is not whether I would find another partner who would not only be willing but enjoy pegging, but really get into it. Any answer, question or a pointer would be appreciated.
So now, I am looking beyond women in India 🙂 What to do 🙂