My issue is these are words he said years ago, but I think they deeply scarred me. Ive knowm him for 10years from 13, I liked him since then and we have some kind of thing going on now.
I remember when we were 15 he said "i would never date a black woman, i want a pretty white girl like (my friend)" we were in a group of many people and they all knew my feelings (apparently he thought i hated him back then).
Another time we were talking and he called me the N word, we were like 17? it was also out of the blue.
He recently told me how insane he was and how he matured and grew and is different and wants to start a clean slate-but didnt directly say sorry. He likes posts about like how black and white people are equal or like pro black things now but idk.
He is white btw and we are 23, part of me is thinking I am still scarred by what he said and he didnt directly apologise and I dont even know if an apology will help at this point.
update: I removed him. Even tho lowkey im deeply attached to him and liked him a lot romantically too. But I genuinely have gone through too much shit in regards to racism and decided fuck it. Because even thinking about him often makes me very stressed, I dont think theres a point.