I (EDIT: late 20s M) am trying online dating again, and am having a bit more success. I get maybe 1 or 2 matches a day, as opposed to 0.
However, I have not have a single date in almost three years. The last time I dated, it was a dinner date with a man, who then sexually assaulted me. My only relationship before then was a female college friend who never did much more than cuddle and kiss.
My goal in dating is to have sex with other people. I have a mostly successful life and sex is one of the only things I've never had.
However, I have no frame of reference for what to do to actually do or say to a woman to make it clear that this is what I want. The only frame of reference I have for sexual desire is gay men. I've never met a woman who was sexually open, and my understanding is that women are often extremely terrified and uninterested in a lot of men. As a rape victim myself I certainly empathize, but I don't know how to actually arouse someone.
What do I do and say?