Here are situations I think he might be..
Safety / protection
Late at night, we’ve gone to grocery stores or to get food and there were sketchy homeless people around. When walking back to the car, he would walk in front of me, not hold my hand and just say “hurry.” This has happened multiple times (not back to back, but on different occasions).
Staring at other women (including my sister)
On a family vacation flight, he sat next to me a few rows ahead of my mom and sister, but across the aisle. I noticed him looking back repeatedly (at least 10 times). He then turned to me and randomly said “I love you baby.”
After when he went to use the bathroom, I looked where his view would’ve been and realized he could clearly see my sister, who was leaning toward the window wearing a low cut shirt. She does have a large chest so things were quite pushed up. I’ve caught him staring at other women in public before but he always denies it.
Gym prioritization over time together
He works out 5x a week and started TRT at 19 (he’s now 22). He used to come over Friday night – Sunday night, but now he prefers staying home Friday nights so he can work out Saturday morning.
Because of this, our Saturdays are basically gone. He takes forever getting ready or procrastinates. One weekend he didn’t come until 5pm, another weekend not until 9pm because he didn’t start packing until 7pm and was on the phone all day talking about peptides with his cousin. He didn’t update me at all that day and I thought he was getting ready the entire time come to find out he wasn’t when I texted him asking at 5pm.
No effort with dates or plans
We only see each other on weekends because he lives an hour away. He never initiates dates or activities, even lo cost ones. Early in the relationship, I made a shared Notes list with date ideas he never used it. When he’s over, he’s often on his phone (Twitter or texting family).
Lack of direction
He’s not in college and doesn’t plan to go. He day traded trying different strategies and such for 4 years (when we met) he got a few payouts but wasn’t profitable. He said he was going to give trading a break and do something else, but now he’s back to trying to day trade.
Minimal communication / effort
I’ve told him how it hurts seeing him active on Twitter in the morning and afternoon while I don’t hear from him. He wakes up early to go to the gym but can’t send a simple “good morning” text.
He said he waits to send a voice memo because he wants it to be “meaningful,” but I’ve told him a simple text would make me happy. He still doesn’t do it.
Some days I don’t hear from him at all until late afternoonI’ve even had to call him just to hear from him. He also doesn’t care to say a quick goodnight.
These are some things that don’t sit right with me.. there are a bit more but I would like to know if I’m just overreacting?