34m, unemployed, no savings, accrued mental health issues, serial job hopper.
I'm in tech sales and in recent years I've taken my foot off the pedal. I do the bare minimum and get by on my personality, this no longer seemed to hold up. I blame others; its the company, the product, the market. Never myself. Until now.
I lost my recent sales job to performance and lack of trying. I'm good at the job when I put my mind to it but after a decade selling SaaS you start to question your motives. And that questioning became more prominent than ever the past year or so. I now realise that maybe I should have been grateful for the roles, the opportunity to have been employed. I have essentially burnt my own bridge and now I am facing a mirror that's showing the consequences of my actions, or inactions.
Is self-loathing part of a transition? Did I f up the last 10 years when I should have been accumulating assets? How do you career pivot during an employment crisis? I never thought I'd feel so lost when objectively I have achieved beyond what my childhood dreamt of.