My guy friend (3 years strong) and I recently crossed into very uncharted territory, and I’m not sure how to proceed.
For context, we hang out almost every weekend with our friend group. Last weekend we went to a rave together. We’d had a few drinks, but not enough to blame anything on alcohol. At one point, he suggested we step away from the group to take photos like we usually do. While we were off to the side (with one other mutual friend present), he got noticeably more physical than usual, hands on my waist the entire time, complimenting my outfit, calling me pretty. Looking back at the photos later, it was obvious he was VERY into the moment.
We went back to the group, danced together and later ended up at an after party. While sitting in the car before going in, things escalated; touching, laying on each other, lingering physical closeness. We’ve always had somewhat of a platonic intimacy, but this was different. I asked him directly if he wanted to “go there,” and he responded, “Why can't we go there?” to which i replied "I don't mingle with friends" out of nervousness.
Backstory: I was attracted to him before we even became friends, but over time I buried the idea. He admitted he knew about my attraction early on but didn’t pursue it due to other commitments. He said the attraction was mutual and that even our friends/outsiders have apparently felt the tension for years.
The next day at another rave, we were glued to each other again; more dancing, laying on his chest in the car, and eventually a pretty steamy kiss. We cut it short and went back to the party like nothing happened.
Since then? We haven't brought it up. It's been about a week
We’ve shared photos in the group chat, hung out one-on-one for three hours the following weekend (his suggestion), sat less than a foot apart the entire time… but neither of us acknowledged what happened. The conversation was normal. No awkwardness. But the tension was LOUD. Now that the line was crossed, I wanted to pull him in so badly. He avoided eye contact and if we did make, he'd look away pretty quickly. When we left, we didn’t even do our usual handshake/lingering goodbye. No “text me when you’re home.” Just… bye.
I'm a bit conflicted as I want to revisit whatever that was. I’m not in a place mentally where I want a relationship, but I do want to explore this shift. At the same time, I don’t want to ruin a 3-year friendship or disrupt the friend group.
There is one complicating factor. my last two commitments were with people close to him; one was his childhood friend (they no longer speak), and the other is in our current friend group. He did bring that up.
This is someone who knows me deeply. We’ve built a solid friendship. I don’t know if we’re both hesitating out of fear, pride, or protecting the group.
Do I bring it up directly? Do I wait? Do I risk it?
Any advice is appreciated.