I’m looking for some honest advice about something that’s been on my mind. I recently met a guy who is genuinely kind, thoughtful, and treats me really well. We’ve only been on two dates, but during the second one I realized that he can’t read, and he’s 38 years old.
I don’t want to sound shallow or judgmental, because he really does check so many of the boxes I’m looking for. But I’d be lying if I said this isn’t bothering me. Education has always been important to me — I have a graduate degree — and he finished high school.
I’m feeling conflicted. On one hand, I care more about character than credentials. On the other, I can’t ignore that this feels like a significant gap, especially when I think long-term about communication, shared interests, and compatibility.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Am I overthinking this, or is it reasonable to see this as a major concern?
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To add more context since people are asking. I never asked him if he can read because I don’t want to embarrass him. His texts always have really bad grammar and spelling. On our second date, he just pointed at the menu instead of reading it, which made me wonder. We do text, but it’s always very basic. I also noticed he uses voice to text. So I think he might read at about a second grade level.