Hey everyone, I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 9 months, and we've known each other for 1 year and 2 months. We met online. I am a [30M] and she is a [26F]. I live in the US and she lives in Brazil. We have a great relationship: very serious, committed, and long-term. We've always talked about building a family together, and have many shared values. We've visited numerous times and are working towards engagement. (She is ready and I am taking my time a bit more).
Some background info here: I am probably anxious attachment style and she may be avoidant. My parents are still happily married and hers are divorced. When her parents got divorced at age 14, she went through some financially tight times after her dad moved out. Anyway, just a thought about why she may be so focused on wealth or security, which makes sense.
Pretty often, she mentions that she wants to be rich and pampered. In the future, she mentions specifically she wants 'oh don't work, honey, get your nails done, get your hair done, go to pilates, and don't worry!' I can completely understand that. But sometimes I feel like those things are mentioned and focused on, that it feels like I am being used. I feel a great pressure not just to provide, but to specifically: be rich. I have a fear that if I don't match her expectations, I will lose her, and she will abandon me. Sometimes when she mentions being rich, she tells me it's something she wants, is used to from past boyfriends, and wants in life, very unapologetically, imo. She tells me she doesn't want to hide what she wants from me. She mentions she wants us to always grow in life, which I try to do in my career anyway. Maybe I am too critical of her or the way she describes it.
I really do not approach this from a hostile viewpoint. I don't believe in men versus women. And I believe whatever role the couple decides for each person, that is appropriate and okay, as long as both in the relationship are treated fairly – even though we happen to be a more traditional couple.
Looking for your thoughts, my friends, and if you have any advice to share. Thank you and be good to yourself.
TL;DR My girlfriend mentions a lot she wants to be rich. It sometimes sharply feel the pressure to succeed and it triggers a fear of mine. How can I work together on this with her?
Edit: I wanted to add that she is currently a doctor in Brazil, after going to med school for 6 years. I did not originally include that because she likely will not be able to work as one here due to the process it requires to work here in the US. We both decided that might not be the best route for us.