I [25M] don't get it man. I really don't. I don't get how you can go from "i can't wait to see you!!" to "by the way, i'm ending things. see you!".

I don't understand how you can go from staying up late at night and ruining your sleep schedule for somebody else to being left on read for 12 hours a day.

I don't get how you can go from "I appreciate your honesty" to withholding things from the person who is supposed to be your most devoted partner.

I don't understand how you can go from "i'm so glad God put you in my life" to becoming nothing more than a blank profile picture with a blocked username.

What even is the point of any of this? I'm starting to run out of reasons to be vulnerable, to be honest, to open myself up just to endure the same cycle of vicious harm one time too many. I feel like I'm bleeding out and I only have so much left to give. How do you all get through it?

And for the love of God, if you aren't ready to talk things out with somebody and actually FIX THINGS, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do us all a favor and DON'T DATE!!!


15 comments

  1. I can relate to your pain. Don’t give up. Yes it hurts so badly and it confuses the hell out of me. But if there is someone out there, I can’t let my fear stop me from being myself with them. Take the time you need to recover but don’t let go of the love you want to give. Even if you fail a million times, the one success is worth everything.

  3. I reached this point this weekend, I deleted the dating apps off of my phone and I don’t think I will be re-downloading them, I recently got ghosted again and I am carrying a dying conversation with another right now. I think it’s time to just focus on myself and doing what feels right

  5. emotions are just an imaginary part of the flesh suit prison system. so dont take them so seriously if its not being fun for you

  6. Yep everything you said. Recently too. I’m 69 so I’m done. No reason to go through finding someone new again. I knew and felt comfortable with THAT person. Even with the issues. As my tattoo says, compliments to the Goo Goo Dolls, Yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive.

  7. After this last 10 years of wasted time i finally understand fearful avoidant attatchment and i will never give benefit of doubt again when someone shows with it again. If someone cant be the least bit vulnerable after a while they probably never will be. theyre relationship terrorists that make people afraid to express vulnerability and basically what makes people good. i dont care how bad my heart is broken im not shutting it off because someone elses short comings. we have to be able to fight monsters w out becoming one.

  8. i’m 22F and i feel the same way. most people just pursue me for sex and i turn that down bc i want something real and longterm. im making peace with being by myself forever if i have to and just working on career and spending time w my loved ones.

  9. Its the 2020s… the internet has made it tooooooo easy to just shut it all down and run away and hide. I can remember 20 years ago being so easy to get someone and work on stuff now its welp im done… k bye

  10. I’m feeling the same way unfortunately, absolutely brutal 😢 I don’t know what to do anymore, my heart just hurts

  11. All I ask is for u to not loose your self. You sound like a level headed and kind hearted human but unfortunately there are a lot of concubines running around now a days. Remain who u are and if the seat gets hot with pain go cool off in the corner for a while and get back in the game.

  12. As the woman in your current shoes, please don’t give up. If you need to take a break, that is okay. But we need good men out there. We are out here, I promise. We’re looking for you!! Just getting drug through the same shit trying to find the needle in the haystack 😭

  13. I’m sorry the people you’ve dated have not been great. You only need the one good one though. I hope you’ll keep going.

  15. i just wanted to say everyone’s words have been so unbelievably kind that it made me cry all over again in the best way possible. thank you so much reddit I love all of you

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