I'm 40m and my wife is 29f. About 5 months ago my wife and I went on a break from one another. In the intervening 5 months the both of us lost a lot of weight; me 70 pounds from 290 to 220, her about 80 or 90 from around 290 to around 200.
We reconnected and have been being intimate. Twice now, while in missionary, I have lost my erection. Before this in similar situations I could perform probably 9 times out of 10; once in a while I would last especially long but most of the time my stamina was average (or low, I don't know what average is actually) and then rarely I would lose my erection and she would finish me orally.
I want to know if there is anything I can do to fix this, or at least attempt.
- I still find her sexy after the weight loss; that's not a problem.
- Mental or emotional block? We don't know if we are divorcing or not. I have a lot of anxiety normally but it usually only affects me when I'm first getting to know a partner (first couple of tries are a dud). Could it be performance anxiety? I get fully hard before entering so I don't feel like that is the problem. But now that it has happened twice in a row, I'm afraid the issue might compound itself. The wife is, and always has been, extremely chill when it happens so she isn't contributing anything negative.
- Penetration felt good but it has been a while so I can't remember if it feels different; but I think maybe it does? The bottom of my penis isn't getting as much contact on her walls I think? I was thinking next time of changing the position a little, have her on her side so there is solid contact. But I also don't think that will be as pleasurable for her. We always start with oral for her and I make sure she finishes before we get to me but I still want it to be as good as possible for her.
- I don't know how to put this in a more medically accurate way but she has an especially slippery vagina after oral. This makes it feel great but also limits the friction. I don't really know what to do about that aside from penetrate before oral but I really don't want to do that.
- I noticed that, despite exercising regularly for the last 5 months, that my thighs were sore after. I'm going to start doing some specific exercises to work on that (elliptical, stair stepper?).
- I'm also quite old so I don't know what to expect there.
- I'm going to work on kegels as the FAQ suggested but I'm confused about the 'push' despite the extra clarification.
I'm sorry for all of the text but I appreciate any genuine advice and suggestions.