Seriously, Gen Z here asking other Gen Z’s: do you actually date?
I’m 25 years old, male, bisexual and dating now is non existent. Like really, I’m trying to date every gender and its just not happening.
I don’t have any issues to talk to anyone in any place and I often do that just for fun and to cheer up myself and others. What I’ve observed is that everyone is busy with something and looks unapproachable. Anywhere really: cafes, bars, coworking spaces etc.
On top of that: where is everyone my age now? When I actually meet people they are always over 30 and 40 and tbh I don’t mind it but I would prefer actually a person my age to build something serious. Thing is: they are just not present and when they are there they are also not „present”.
And I’m just super confused. Also it seems like everyone wants a perfect match now and everywhere they are situationships.
In recent 6 months I literally only met people over 30 and 40 and divorced. Fellow Gen Z, where are you?
35 comments
24f yes I do, a lot.
I’m not dating right now. not good at long term multitasking and too much work
19m, yes Hispanic never had an issue with dating. Really just put myself out there in social settings. All my girlfriends have either come through school or work, can’t do dating apps though feels to superficial
I feel like there is a change in culture. Historically we were told to pair up as the main life goal. Get married and have children and you’ve MADE IT. You perpetuate your “lineage” which is a gross idea to me altogether. I feel like the culture is shifting to be more individualistic. We realize we don’t need to have kids or be married to have a rich, fulfilling life. We don’t need to believe the fairy tales we were told. We have had relationships that were terrible and sometimes traumatic so we don’t wish to repeat that. There is SO MUCH more to life than a romantic relationship, right? Think of all the different ways you can interact with people. Friends, neighbors, coworkers, the coffee shop employees, the guy next to you singing in traffic, whatever. Those are the human interactions I like. Not the one where we are sold an idea that only one person is “your person” and they need to fill all your needs and be everything you ever wanted. I honestly don’t think that is humanly possible.
Used to. Hit a brick wall. Had a few partners last year and now suddenly seemingly everyone in the region is either living with a guy or been dating a guy for years.
Only single women I’ve met in a year were all Millenials and were upper-class/wealthy. No success there
I’m a 21-year-old straight man and haven’t dated since I was 18. Honestly, not really by choice, but more the fact that I haven’t connected with anybody. Places like bars tend to hold people who are just seeking short-term fun, while places like school have people who just don’t want to be bothered. I think I’m more reserved in the way that I won’t go out of my way to speak to somebody I find attractive randomly because I think that’s weird, and I don’t want to be seen as a creep somehow. So, I just stay to myself. Honestly, dating in our generation is super difficult, and I think I might even be better off single when actually seeing how people act today. Hopefully, I do eventually find something, but who’s to tell?
25 and no, I really don’t. I hate dating apps with a burning passion since I feel like I have to display myself like a product in Lidl, I get hit on by men my father’s age only…sometimes next to their wives, men my age tell me they just “wanna hit” without the “baggage” (whatever that means) and my 13 yr old cousins gets more texts than I ever could. I am demisexual if that …adds to anything. I genuinely can’t be attracted to someone unless we have good conversational chemistry and an emotional connection which in the age of depression, Hinge and extremist views, I find it even more difficult to connect to people. You’re not alone. I want real, I want seriousness, I dont want hook ups and talks about 50/50 dates, I want to write letters to each other and read them over wine and talk until 3am about which constellations we can find. I am ripping my hair out at the thought of getting another “wyll”…
Prolly not. I don’t see them dating but building communities
Bro we trying but goddamn…
It’s all dependent on the person but as a 25 male my last relationship ended in 2022 and I haven’t been in one since. I’ve had a couple dates one off and that’s it. The narrative in 2019-2023 when I was in college was that you shouldn’t approach people and anything could really be spun as harassment. Obviously I’m a fan of public safety for women and of course men. However it was overkill and a lot of us guys kinda got the vibe to not go with the approach attempts. Now online dating and social media had made it feel impossible. The standards and delusions are high and messages are conflicting. But like anything else some have success and some don’t. However, many people remain happier alone.
No ligo en absoluto, me niego a meterme en el infierno de las apps de citas, sí, es un infierno para una persona asexual. Aparte las personas que conozco en mi entorno generalmente no me gustan.
Ya me acostumbré supongo, a la idea de que quizás termine sola.
19f, no i’m focused on school and my future career. most of my friends are as well so maybe that’s something? i’m in a class full of guys and their main priority is dating and finding a gf. so i think there’s a disconnect.
They do date, where do you live?
28m, so still gen z according to some charts. I haven’t dated anyone seriously for a while. I don’t feel im in a good place to do so, physically or mentally. Even if i was, im not sure what would change. No one has any single friends they would introduce me to, im certainly not going to date any coworkers, and i would be apprehensive to approach a woman in public. So, there’s your answer!
My feeling is “It sucks, but i don’t want it to also suck for someone to be with me. So, when the time is right, that’s fine, even if it never happens.
Have you considered that it’s a location issue? Im 25, when im on the countryside, the number of people my age are almost all in relationships meanwhile in the city im studying in, it feels like more people are single. Other than that im also not really dating right now because it’s really overwhelming, especially online.
Not really..the last time I tried to, it didn’t work out
F29 here (so more on the older end of Gen Z) and I literally never dated. Not once. 😅
About 1.5 years ago I just happened to meet someone through my friend group. We started as FWB and somehow, very slowly and unintentionally, just became a couple. There was no “dating phase”, no strategy, no optimization.
If that hadn’t happened, I’d probably still be trying (and failing) to “date” and listening to random internet people telling me to improve myself first, be more interesting, go to the gym, optimize my personality, etc. 😒 And then eventually I would have become JD Vance’s worst nightmare: the childless cat lady. 😁
Yeah little bit but right now it’s so stressful with financial stuff and cost of living and buying a house and moving into it
It will probably be 6 months before I even try to date again
No its not a multitasking problem
Its more of everything piles up on you
Like a tone of bricks
Australia is hard place to live these days
How to date when most of the time you work or try to find a work or try to go to college or whatever
Many people work 2 jobs just to barely make it.
Some can’t work either due to health issues or because no one hires with money good enough to live.
The system is not working . Mental health is peaking badly and most times you see people getting laughed at for nonsense .
people will start dating more when the internet collapses or something
actually making an effort at dating never really worked for me. I just get close with a friend until we end up dating. I keep my friends close and it just happens eventually
4 years ago i went on a valentines dinner-into-movie date with a girl i knew in high school for 5 years up to that point. We kissed but im pretty sure my forwardness turned her off.
Last year in May I got my first and only date from dating apps after trying for 3 years. We ate ice cream and cookies and talked for 2 hours, but she turned me down the next day because i was too nice “You’re such a wonderful guy” all that yikyak. I swore to delete the apps forever after that.
Since then, ive approached 5 women at the gym and restaurants. They were either a few years older than me or were already taken.
Now im 4 weeks in back on Hinge of course. Improving my profile little by little, but my early profile probably hurt my chances of matching with the girls i found most attractive and aligned with at the start, but it is what it is.
I’m not meeting anybody, seems like there’s no singles in my area other than the same recycled profiles on the apps. Not Gen Z, not millennials, it’s like nobody.
22F, I am very fortunate that the third person I met through online dating is now my boyfriend of over one year. He is my heart and soul and we have a strong mutual adoration for one another! We both see ourselves getting married in the future. I know this is quite a rarity but yoy can get lucky so don’t lose hope!
>Gen Z: Do you even date?
Not really in short.
>I’m 25 years old, male, bisexual and dating now is non existent. Like really, I’m trying to date every gender and its just not happening.
27M straight, dating just isn’t really a thing for me either (have gone on a handful of dates, but they go nowhere, and are setup through mutuals hoping I like them… I usually don’t and the dates either never occur or “fail” (not quite what to call it, just no spark to me,) spectacularly where I wouldn’t consider another date with them.
>I don’t have any issues to talk to anyone in any place and I often do that just for fun and to cheer up myself and others. What I’ve observed is that everyone is busy with something and looks unapproachable. Anywhere really: cafes, bars, coworking spaces etc.
I’m pretty independent and don’t really like groups of people, so that’s something you have going for you that I don’t, with me to get me to talk I never initiate conversations but am willing to continue them.
>On top of that: where is everyone my age now? When I actually meet people they are always over 30 and 40 and tbh I don’t mind it but I would prefer actually a person my age to build something serious. Thing is: they are just not present and when they are there they are also not „present”.
I know that feeling, I however am very aware that where I live it’s an aging population, and anybody who is my age (about) is already with somebody so dating then is out of the question to me. Also feel similar about dating being about finding somebody to build a life with, not so much as to hangout. I’m fine with hanging out, just don’t call it a date, it’s just not the same thing.
>And I’m just super confused. Also it seems like everyone wants a perfect match now and everywhere they are situationships.
It’s true people are picky but that’s not entirely without reason, the less you have in common, the more clashing there is the less stability and compatibility in the relationship. Though some people I think are realizing nobody’s perfect, and in any relationship (romantic or platonic) you make accommodations with eachother
>In recent 6 months I literally only met people over 30 and 40 and divorced. Fellow Gen Z, where are you?
28 this year (not yet,) haven’t met anybody recently I’ve even considered to hangout with, let alone date. Also a large portion of the population here are not single or are way older, it’s not easy or great to date here in any way shape or form. Not to say you can’t, but it’s not common.
>What does it mean to be a grown ass man?
It’s different for everyone.
>22M here, everyone around me has been constantly telling me that I need to be mature, to grow up, stop being a manchild. But what does it actually mean? Does it mean having knowledge, does it mean handling tough situations, or does it mean not procrastinating in my work? I am so confused, I am not able to understand what it means to be a mature man.
You’re 22, you’re barely an adult you’re gonna make mistakes, will do things you should probably not, and will be unsure about things you haven’t experienced yet. That’s fine, you may need to do a little more as an adult, like taxes, a decent job, etcetera, but that doesn’t stop you from doing things you have done when you were younger.go buy ice cream, hangout at the park, go to a movie, you can still do these things that might be “childish” to some but you are making that choice which is an adult thing to do, to choose for yourself.
>Been through 4 surgeries which completely changed my perspective towards life, I have become so much grateful that even if I get a good sleep, I become very happy, so I have kind of become satisfied in my life, but my closed ones says that I have become very lazy and live a low quality of life ( as I don’t go out of home most of the time ).
You’ve had adult experiences then (some more than me to be honest,) I haven’t had surgeries, sure, but you have experienced more than some people. Also depending in the surgeries, I wouldn’t be surprised if somebody was less active depending on if it literally inhibitions you physically to be active. I’m not as active personally due to where I live has pretty bad air quality and I’ve got asthma that can really escalate some days. I could be more active indoors sure, but my current job I work is already pretty active: physically hauling heavy equipment, moving between 6-20′ ladders (some are little giants which are heavy,) constantly walking/on my feet most days (though some weeks are a desk and looking at a monitor for 8 hours.) Like sure, I have had (and maybe you too,) have done these for a while, but it’s not by choice, sometimes life doesn’t present the right opportunity to change at the right times and sometimes it does but you can’t know it was the right choice either and it passes by, sometimes it’s the wrong choice and you can’t know it until you choose it. I chose to work in AR Little Rock for a year and it couldn’t have been much worse of a choice in my life than to continue working as a janitor. Sure I had better pay, but my quality of life was awful, I couldn’t have known until I tried though.
>Just wanted your opinion guys, be honest, I want real answers. Thanks in advance.
27(M) Dating hasn’t really ever interested me, and there are very few people I would consider dating or even have dated. Not a single date was found through dating apps, most were from in-person and or mutual people that introduced us to eachother. Life doesn’t always give the right opportunity and sometimes you cannot know if it’s even the right choice for yourself until you’ve tried.
Question: when you say everyone wants a perfect match ‘now’, what are you comparing to? Like five years ago (early COVID)? Ten years ago (when you were in school)?
I ask because I, a millennial, found dating at 25 difficult, and that was over ten years ago.
No not now still not over my ex
WHT are all if you so shallow and hateful towards. Just start fucking. Like just fuck each other.
been w someone for just about 10 months, I’m 26
25F. Nah, stopped last year. I was doing all of the approaching and dating apps are trash. Every person and every conversation with a man just sounds like a broken record. Only men that approach me on their own are Uncs
25f I would say that I’ve been lucky to be with my bf for 4 years now, as I see that everyone is having a hard time finding someone.
26 no, I have nothing in common with anyone and don’t really socialize with other than mandatory interactions. My friends found their partners on dating apps I just can’t find myself doing it, I don’t want to it feels empty and tedious (their partners are garbage anyways). I rather be alone than miserable with someone else
I try to, but nothing really happens, so not really
I tired recently, first time I asked someone out and I’m 23
Date got cancelled twice and we haven’t rescheduled but again first time asking someone out
Gen z is cooked
Lots of gen z guys are undatable.
The biggest issue is men in the older generations are more likely to be able to cold approach so tend to do a lot better, on top of many other advantages (careers are more progressed so more financial stability/income, often times more mature, more life skills so greater chance to have emotional intelligence, and overall better social skills).
Tons of gen z guys don’t have the ability to cold approach or even really socialize in general, and basically just use dating apps. This creates massively poor ratios on the apps.
For gen z women, there are problems too. First, as mentioned, there are relatively few gen z guys who are datable. On top of that, gen z women use the apps but are subjected to fuckboys and all sorts of terrible pool quality, causing many to stop dating or take frequent dating breaks.
Many gen z women are dating much older guys.