Hi so here’s my original post
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/T5GQC8h1v9
But to sum it up my BF mentioned during valentines dinner that he didn’t wanna wear condoms anymore and threatened our relationship over it. He said that we should use the pullout method because him and his exes did it and they never got pregnant. But I really encourage you read the first post for more details.
I talked to him tonight about it and proposed a compromise that he gives me 6 months and we check in again to be in the relationship a bit longer before I go on birth control so I can do research and be ready and make sure I’m doing it for myself and not just for him and his pleasure. I also told him he’s only made me come once during our 9 month relationship and that maybe we could work on finding other pleasure in the bedroom because he would just rush to the finish line of him coming as quick as possible and would never do enough foreplay to make me wet so he’s just toss lube at me.
He told me 6 months is too long that he’s already gave in for 9 months by wearing them and that condoms ruin any other fun in the bedroom. He also spent a good 20 minutes trying to persuade me to give in and invalidated how I felt about the pull out method because his ex with anxiety didn’t have a problem with it. Also he told me that having sex with condoms isn’t actually sex and it ruins the intimacy of it all. Lastly, he told me I was being stubborn and if he were me he’d give in. Why didn’t a break it off quicker?!
We broke up.
25 comments
Date someone else who isn’t a complete selfish arsehole, I’d say.
Once in 9 months is absolutely crazy work.
atp – I’m surprised u r talking to him – for considering safety
Don’t take him back
Date someone whose pleasure in the bedroom comes from giving pleasure to you!
What do you mean, now what?
The relationship is done. You ended it. What are you wanting? He did not acknowledge the fact he can’t make you come and he’s quick to finish, still focused solely on him nutting.
Why on earth would you ever consider staying with a “man” who doesn’t take your thoughts and concerns seriously; someone who doesn’t respect you or your autonomy at all? Save yourself the time and just cut ties. There is no instance in which this ends on a good note.
You did the right thing.
You made a reasoned decision which aligned with your values, preferences, safety, and you communicated that to him.
Sexual boundaries are not something you ever need to compromise on.
Whatever uncertainty and doubt you are experiencing now will evaporate in a couple of years time when you look back at the mess you avoided by drawing your line and holding it.
And ExBF is setting himself up for 10 seconds of pleasure and a lifetime of antivirals if he’s so set of pursuing unprotected sex.
the same advice we gave in the last thread is the same thing we’re goong to tell you in this thread, and it will be the same you hear if there is a next – this guy is a loser for trying to pressure you to get pregnant, and he is a loser for not giving a second thought to your pleasure.
the pull-out method is a great method for getting pregnant. you may as well go roll a 6-sided dice, and when you roll a 6 then congrats, you’re pregnant. his lack of concern for this at 29 is astounding.
him not caring if you orgasm or not shows he isn’t worth your time.
be happy with yourself and that you aren’t with this spermbank any more, let him find a different victim. block him, move on with life, and enjoy not being forced into parenthood by a selfish jerk. the right person for you is one smile away.
I’m so glad you broke up with him! In the future, you cum first. Then it’s his turn. BTW, over 80% of women don’t cum from penis-in-vagina sex, so the guy needs to step up his game. If he’s not willing, time to move on.
“Encourage you to read the original post” why bother this guy sucks leave him
So… he complains that condoms take the pleasure out of sex for him, but he still finishes before you even get started.
Logically, he would be a 1 pump chump without a condom.
Stay broken up. Buy a toy and enjoy being free of him.
Good for you! Oh my God he is such a jerk. It’s not really sex if he’s wearing a condom? The pull-out method is a good way to go? That’s insane everybody knows you can so easily get pregnant by that method. He just totally didn’t care about how you felt and I’m so glad you broke up with him. I love seeing women who don’t take the crap from these men.
As a man: he sounds like a total loser. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Good riddance.
he should pull out of your life lmao
I’m glad the only one pulling out was you of this relationship.
I refuse to believe that a man this stupid, was that good with his pull-out game. Either his ex was lying about some form of birth control, or he’s lying about mini-him’s running around (maybe he doesn’t know?).
Either way – take some time for you, and definitely learn from this. Any guy who doesn’t listen to a “no” on a big issue should be giving you immediate red flags. You don’t need to coddle him for that, because your feelings and body matter just as much as his.
Also, if a man compares you like that to his ex, tell him that if he misses her so much, he can give her a call.
You should have asked him what you guys had been doing all this time, if it wasn’t sex. Playing board games? Braiding each other’s hair? The macarena?
I read the original post but I didn’t leave a comment.
This time I will:
👏🏻 Good thing you dumped his ass 👏🏻
He reminds me a lot of my ex. I stopped taking the pill after finding out that it could have made a pathology that I have worse. Now it was his time to take precautions. He absolutely didn’t want to wear a condom because ✨️it doesn’t feel good and because ✨️ he had a lot of girls, never used protections and none of them got pregnant.
So I was the evil one because I didn’t trust him to do the pull out method 🤡
Such a clown
Dude is really pushing his luck with the “pull out method” diatribe. Also, someone could say that sex without condoms isn’t sex at all. Nothing more than wasting time talking out of his neck.
He didn’t care about you and your health and he admitted he doesn’t care about your pleasure either.
Dumping him was the best choice.
>We broke up.
Good. Dude was getting regular sex, was asked to make you cum, and he refused all compromises.
Good for you, forget that guy.
Good. You’re only 24, you can do better than a man child
Thank GOD you broke up. I’m glad you’re out of that situation.
This man is…mentally inept, to put it nicely. I am not sure how he’s going to get through life without some kind of guardian. I admit, I’ve dated a few men like that over the years.
One of the reasons you don’t realize how dumb they are, is because they believe most everything they say. However, I am also seeing signs that this guy is an abuser. Abusers use all sorts of tactics, like [reproductive coercion](https://www.thehotline.org/resources/reproductive-coercion/), and even [stealthing](https://www.thehotline.org/resources/stealthing/).
I think if you read this, [What is psychological abuse?](https://safelives.org.uk/about-domestic-abuse/what-is-domestic-abuse/),and this, [8 tactics of psychological violence used by abusers in intimate relationships](https://sosviolenceconjugale.ca/en/articles/8-tactics-of-psychological-violence-used-by-abusers-in-intimate-relationships#:~:text=Psychological%20abuse%20is%20an%20integral%20part%20of%20the%20strategies%20used%20by%20an%20abuser&text=Negging.%20Negging%20means%20disguising%20an%20insult%20or%20criticism%20in%20a%20statement), you may recognize some other familiar tactics.
If I had to guess, I think your ex is both dumb, and abusive. OP, you dodged a missile, not just a bullet. Imagine getting pregnant and being tied to that man for *life*.
Stay far, far away. Block him everywhere. If he finds some way to contact you, absolutely **DO NOT** respond. The frightening thing about abusers, is their ability their ability to reel their victim back in. They say and do *all the right things*. Seriously, it’s scary how successful they can be.
TL;DR: **Always trust your gut. Never be afraid to jump ship when your gut tells you something is wrong.**
I love how you pointed out how he’s not only bad in bed but he’s fast at it too.
Good riddance. What a fucking man-child. You really don’t want to be with someone who’s that self-centred at his age, I congratulate you for losing all of those kgs.
But – maybe you need to be more up front in future about your own pleasure. Once in 9 months? Sod that for a joke!