We kept telling ourselves, we just need a date night. So we’d get a sitter go downtown grab sushi, walk around the city for an hour like we used to. One time we even did rooftop drinks and were like, okay this feels normal again and it was nice. Don’t get me wrong It felt good to sit somewhere without cutting someone else’s food.
But by the next morning we were back to shifts and survival. Who slept less. who’s taking the early wake up. Did we switch the laundry. It wasn’t explosive fighting, just this low level distance. Like we were running operations instead of being married. At one point I remember sitting across from each other at dinner thinking maybe this is bigger than just needing a night out. Maybe we actually need couples therapy for starters. Not because we’re falling apart, but because we don’t want to. Multiples are intense. I think we underestimated how much intentional work it takes to stay connected when you’re both exhausted all the time.