Im looking for the female perspective on something that Ive been struggling with. Although I wrote a couple paragraphs laying the ground work, I suppose the last paragraph is the only important one.
I've been struggling for many years with the fact that BJs are no longer a part of our relationship. I try to accept that it's something that I'm just going to likely have to live without, but it's honestly just too important to me.
A couple years ago, I brought up how much I miss blowjobs and handjobs and for once that conversation didn't lead to a fight. Since then, she's been willing to perform a little bit of oral as foreplay once every few months. This isn't enough to calm me down, but is a big improvement after 8 years of nothing and about 4 years of nothing before that. She has also said things like, let me finish reading this chapter and after maybe I can give you a blowjob… (long pause) or a handjob. Although, I definitely appreciate the handjobs shes been giving if we havent had sex for a couple of weeks, Ive been struggling.
How would you recommend I ask her to start giving blowjobs again? I know timing is everything and it never seems to be a good time, so how would you recommend I set the mood for the conversation? Last week, on Reddit, I read a post about "what is the female equivalent of surprise blowjobs for men" and the only answer given is something she definitely doesn't want. I was thinking about asking her what her equivalent would be? As a woman, do you think this would be a good idea?