I guess this is more of a rant than anything…I always try to be one of those guys that doesn’t care about Valentines Day, or I’ll make jokes like “I save so much money!” but deep down it bothers me…especially when people I know around me are not only in relationships, but are actually happy in them.
Always had self esteem problems growing up and into my 20’s and 30’s, and while I’ve improved many aspects of my life (good physical shape, play guitar, have my own apartment, go to therapy regularly), I’ve always struggled with dating. Outside of one or two girls I talked to for a few months, I’ve never had a real girlfriend, and now I’m about to be 40 next year.
I’m to the point where I can land a date from time to time off the apps, but they never go past the 1st or 2nd date. I always get the “you’re a great guy” or “I’m not ready for dating” excuses.
I know I should go out more, but even when I do I still never meet anyone single. And the off chance I do and the conversation is going well, I always run out of stream and can’t follow up on it, or I panic and shut down – I get super anxious and can’t talk much afterwards. I’m ADHD diagnosed so maybe it’s connected to that?
I want a relationship but wouldn’t mind something physical if nothing else. I haven’t had sex in two years and now it’s festering in my head and in my confidence. Does anyone go out and get laid anymore?
I guess I just wanted to be heard with this post…hopefully other people can relate.