So a friend of mine has a fiancé and she showed a picture of me to a girl she thought would be good for me. She later told me the girl wasn’t into me “he’s not my type”. I wasn’t bothered by this at all. I’d argue I take rejection pretty decently. About 2-3 months pass by and now a friend of mine is dating her. I honestly think I’m having a hard time not feeling like shit. Don’t get me wrong I’m super happy for him he’s a good dude. I just for a long time have hoped and wished for a good relationship. My dating life has been numerous rejections, failures, toxicity, and even some verbal abuse. I dream of being a husband and father. I honestly don’t have a lot of self confidence or many friends. Basically every guy I know has a girlfriend or fiance. I feel lonely a lot honestly and mentally it hurts a lot. I feel like nobody wants me or cares about me at times.
My parents are really supportive and good but as a soon to be 23m I need my own friends/support system. I just wonder if I’m ugly, too insecure, or just a bad guy. I try to be kind and improve my life. I’m a tall dude, college educated, kind, etc. I think I find it hard not to be jealous or compare myself. It’s just so hard when everyone I know is in happy relationships approaching the most horrible holiday (Valentine’s day). Mini story I was once broke up with a couple days before Valentine’s Day and I gave the gifts I bought to a friend for his girlfriend. It’s also hard not to think “what did she not like about me?”. Is it my glasses, my style, my appearance, am I ugly? It’s just hard to feel confident despite this. Am I a bad person? Is this normal? I just feel really down and hopeless about dating/love. I truly consider myself a hopeless romantic.