Some context before my question:
About 4 months ago, my ex of 3 years broke up with me. Back then, she had reached her limit because of an unintentional lack of transparency on my part about my intentions, plans to visit her, and other important things. Whenever she asked, my answers came across as vague or unclear.
English isn’t my first language, so I didn’t fully understand at the time that she wanted me to be transparent, make her feel included, and show that I cared. This made her feel unsafe and uncertain in the relationship, which built up over time and eventually drained her. She needed space, but I didn’t recognize it and confronted her from a place of hurt. She broke up in the heat of the moment. After things calmed down, she still spoke in ways that suggested she didn’t truly want things to end, but she was too drained to communicate it clearly.
I also realize now that after the breakup I had been overbearing and pushy, which added to her stress. After she blocked me in some places to recover, I panicked and tried to reach out through an alternate account, which led to her blocking me completely. A mutual friend told me she no longer wants anything to do with me.
After months of reflection, I’ve come to several realizations which I just shared.
I’m considering sending her an email with a document I created, framed as optional—she wouldn’t be obligated to read it. The document is structured like this:
Reflection: How I showed up in the relationship and how it contributed to the breakup
Gratitude: For what we had and for her
Accountability: Owning my part fully
Transparency: Clearly communicating the things she cared about
A personal message: Honestly sharing how I feel about what happened
Exploring future paths: Giving her complete freedom—she could either continue not speaking with me, or try reconnecting slowly at her own pace, with no pressure
Lessons learn ed: What I learned from the experience
The main issue in our relationship was my lack of clear transparency; everything else was very positive and happy.
Do you think I should go for it, or is it too late to reach out?