I recently started therapy to help me sleep better. I am 27f in nyc. After discussing the past romantic relationship (not in a hateful manner or anything) he told me that some people value closeness and others value feeling important.
I prioritize closeness over feeling important. like 75/25
The person I was interested in values importance over closeness
Which is what leads me to doing more than what is reasonable to make a relationship work with someone who doesn’t mind breaking the relationship.
He said also that because I’m very trusting, pretty, attractive person that is going to attract “sharks”. Which are people who care about feeling important more than keeping their spouse happy because those types of people want trophy wives for status to say they have a pretty girl but don’t care about the emotional attachment that goes into a relationship.
So what do you guys think about this? how do you avoid “sharks”. Sharks are often times “shinier” people who flaunt their success, care about personal appearance, etc.
How do you find people who value closeness and their partners happiness and avoid sharks
I want to break the cycle and find an equally sincerely loving partner. I think Im attracted to somewhat “shiny” people because they really sell themselves to me and of course a person who doesn’t have much to say about themselves seems less interesting
So how do you guys navigate these issues. I have no issues finding dates but filtering out is very hard.