Not really a full blown relationship just a connection issue. I F23 was asked out by a guy M20 on New Year’s. I met him last summer and thought he was cute and he’s friends with my friend’s (F25) brother (M23). I asked about him to my friend and thought nothing of it and just moved on. I’ve seen him at parties a few times but he would never look at me or talk to me.
All of a sudden on new years when I’m out of the country, he asks where I am and asks my friend about me. He told her he thought I was cute and asked for my number. They were drunk/tipsy idk to what extent but he said “we love you” to me in a video they sent to me. My friend told me that she told him I’m a more serious (relationship oriented) girl and he still accepted my number.
He asked me out to sushi, and then the next day he confirmed as well after he sobered up. He asked me if that’s what I wanted to do and I said maybe sushi and a drive in, and he agreed. We set a day and everything.
This guy is apparently very shy, no roster, and mutuals seem to think he doesn’t get girls if you know what I mean. there’s nothing wrong with that, but I definitely come off as very confident, sensual, and attractive especially since I ride a motorcycle and I do photoshoots, and lots of people say I’m attractive.
All of a sudden after texting for a few days he started ghosting me, so I texted saying I’m a relationship type girl and that I love bonding through communication and wanted to know where his head is at.
Apparently he had my friend’s brother help him write a message saying he wasn’t actively looking for a relationship and that’s why he’s not texting much cause he’s busy. I expressed that I understand and I’ll give him space, but that it was disheartening to hear that because I genuinely liked him. He completely disappeared after that.
The day of the date came and he never answered me.
I sent a few follow up, one saying I wanted to go on the date and the another a week later saying it’s okay if he was nervous cause I was too. He basically ghosted me for a month and finally responded saying he’s not looking for anything with anyone and sorry for not going.
Apparently someone had told him i thought he was cute, so he went into this knowing I was interested. Feeling exposed, rejected and helpless.
Please actually help me understand what happened here and please be kind as I’m hurting and feel really awful about myself. how can I understand what happened?