Edit: I know I wrote men but all opinions and POVs are welcome
I ‘F25’ got engaged this past December and genuinely trying to be fair and self-aware, which is why I’m asking for a male perspective. We started dating in November 2024 and got engaged December 2025
Some time ago, I discovered that my fiancé ‘M32’ had been sexting other women back in June 2025. When confronted, he said it wouldn’t happen again, claimed he blocked them, and deleted their numbers. Since then, he insists he’s been loyal and transparent.
But my trust hasn’t recovered, and I’m struggling to tell whether that’s on me or because of ongoing behavior that doesn’t sit right.
Since that incident:
• He put a password on WhatsApp that can only be unlocked with facial recognition.
• He deleted all his Instagram chats.
• He’s generally very private with his phone.
• When I express discomfort, he says I need to move on and trust him if we’re going to get married.
From his point of view, he says he’s changed, that deleting chats and locking apps is about “privacy” and avoiding conflict, not hiding anything. From mine, those exact actions make me feel less safe, not more.
I’m trying to understand:
• If a man truly wanted to rebuild trust after crossing a line, what would that realistically look like?
• Are these reasonable boundaries around privacy, or behaviors that would concern you if roles were reversed?
• At what point does “you need to trust me” become unfair when trust was already broken?
I’m not here to bash him, I’m genuinely trying to figure out whether this is something couples can and do come back from, or if these are signs I should seriously reevaluate before getting married.
Would really appreciate honest perspectives, especially from men who’ve been in long-term relationships or marriages.