So last night me (18M) and my girlfriend (19F) were having a chat about fighting for each other and at one point she said "You don't have it in you to fight for me because you always had the luxury of me and there was no competition for you to fight for me" And that made me realize thats just a cutting way of saying "You took me for granted" I'll admit I didn't fight for her not because I felt like I didn't have to but because I didn't know how to. Because this is my very first relationship. An actual relationship where I'm emotionally and mentally invested. Now I can't use that as an excuse for not fighting but I wasn't aware how things work. She feels her effort, love, consistency and trust was guaranteed not earned and that made me question myself how it was so easy for me to win her when I didn't even have to put in half the work? So maybe if I thought I could lose her I might've shown up differently. I hate to admit it but maybe not…for someone who gives up too quick I don't think I would. I got too comfortable without the boundaries and love without boundaries can teach you to not try for them. Therefore, it's time this changes If thats what it feels like to love without boundaries I want to know what can I do to change myself? What can I do to bring that ambition in me to never stop and get too comfortable for her? What can I do convince them that "Yes I have it in me to fight for you" to prove her that wrong. Because I know for a fact words alone won't be enough to prove it unless my actions speak louder.
TL;DR:
My girlfriend said I didn’t fight for her because I took her for granted. That hit hard and made me realize I didn’t show up not because I didn’t care, but because this is my first real relationship and I didn’t know how. Her love felt guaranteed, not earned, and loving without boundaries made me too comfortable. Now I see that effort, consistency, and boundaries matter. I want to change, build that ambition to never stop trying, and prove through actions not words that I do have it in me to fight for her.