I (F44) really dont enjoy staying at my boyfriends (M48) house. We've been together only 3 months. He's recently started living alone after a separation ao has set himself up as best he can. I cannot sleep in his bed as its so uncomfortable! He has a very hard orthopaedic mattress he bought online without really considering what he was getting. Bought before he met me. We've discussed it and have both bought mattress toppers which have helped a bit. But here I am again, awake at 4am in pain and unable to sleep.
He will sleep anywhere and spends a lot of the working week travelling and in hotels so is used to different beds etc. I am perimenopausal so my sleep isnt great and suffer with frozen shoulder that is painful and worse when laid on.
Whenever I stay at his house I am inevitably tired, grumpy and sore the next day from the bed and it takes me a few days to reset. It affects my work after the weekends we see eachother and is setting my health issues back when my shoulder becomes sore again. My hips and neck ache too. I just can't keep from thinking that I'm too old to put up with this crap.
We sleep together just fine and I genuinely have the best sleep when we stay at mine and he's there beside me. I just cant sleep on his mattress.
We see each other an evening or two in the week around work and alternate weekends as he has teenage children with him every other weekend.
How do I deal with this? Should I just just say I'm not staying overnight at his place anymore? Honestly I would be quite happy to drive home at say 2am and get some sleep and then come back the next day. Am I being unrealistic and perhaps I just need to get over it?
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**TL;DR;** : Boyfriends bed is really uncomfortable and I cant sleep when staying at his house. How do I deal with this? Not stay at all?