I could really really use some support right now or just a sanity check that I did the right thing.
I (28f) was dating my bf (34M) for little over a year. I was clear from day 1 that I was dating to marry and we mutually agreed on a 1 year timeline ( culturally this is normal ). Cut to 1 year and I check in with him and he says he still isn’t ready and hasn’t gotten that internal feeling of certainty yet. He needed more time ( another 4 months ). I agreed despite being hurt.
However, I realized that in the following 2 months, there wasn’t much movement on his side in taking things ahead. He sometimes spoke of me in terms of surety and other times was conditional about our relationship ( lots of ifs ). The ambivalence started affecting my mental health and my sense of emotional security a lot. I had multiple conversations with him telling him how I was feeling and he would address the immediate issue but the ambivalence would slip out in other ways. I don’t doubt that he loved me and he was overall a great bf.
I couldn’t take the toll on my emotional well being anymore and broke up saying that I couldn’t live in uncertainty anymore. There’s a lot more that happened that led up to this point but I’m trying to understand if I made the right decision. Anyone been through this before? Should I have given it more time?
TL;DR : Bf needed more time to be ready for marriage but continued to be openly ambivalent making me emotionally insecure and having weekly meltdowns. I decided to walk away. Did I do the right thing?