tldr: I’m(28F) not sure whether to bring something up with my partner(28M) months later or just move on.
I’m struggling with whether it’s worth bringing something up with my partner or if I should just let it go and move forward. For context we’ve been together a little over a year.
The first time we had sex (several months ago), it didn’t really happen the way I would have wanted or chosen, and it’s bothered me on and off since. It was also my first time. At the time, I didn’t know how or feel very comfortable speaking up or explaining how I felt (mostly because I was embarrassed and have/had shame around being such a ‘late bloomer’ in that part of life) and I mostly tried to ignore it. We’ve had sex since then, and things are technically “fine,” but I still feel emotionally blocked around intimacy if that makes sense? And thinking about that experience it is just kinda something that makes me feel sad now.
Part of me feels like bringing it up now would just reopen something that can’t be changed, and there isn’t any point in bringing it up. Another part of me feels like not saying anything is keeping me distant and closed off, and maybe that’s not fair to either of us long-term.
I don’t know if talking about it would help me move on or just cause tension. Has anyone dealt with something similar — bringing up something sexual or emotional months later? Did it help, or was it better to focus on the present and let time do its thing?
Looking for perspective, not judgment. Thanks for reading