Hi friends,
40F, Been dating a man for a year. From our first date, I didn’t think he was “my type” (I know, bear with me), but he intrigued me.
Our Venn diagram of interests overlaps at music, cooking, love of animals. We mostly diverge on political stuff. Same side of the spectrum, he’s just much more invested than I am and wants to talk about it a lot. And, while he has a great sense of humor, he is not “fun.”
So why stay together? We have a wonderful physical connection and I have never met someone so secure, self-possessed, consistent, and genuinely caring. I find these qualities extremely attractive because, as you can tell by this post, I am not these things. A theme of my adult relationships has been trying to figure out how the fuck I feel and whether it’s real. I find it hard to trust myself. I’m also deeply afraid of rejection.
I respect and admire who he is as a person, but I am not sure I could spend the rest of my life with him. I also just don’t want to throw something away because of my unrealistic expectations.
Tl;dr: how do you know if something isn’t right for you or you’re just an insatiable malcontent?