(Welp I got my answer)
I objectively have a solid life at my age. I have the right tools, the right people, the right mentors, reliable job, and so on and so forth. I’ve been told by plenty of people how attractive I am and what great energy I have. Everything important feels complete but I think I’m just missing one experience. Do I need a girlfriend? No. Do I want one? Yes. Why? Because I have never even had an ounce of that experience and I feel bad for wanting that kind of intimacy.
I used to get content online about how people should “love yourself before you love someone else.” But the context behind that cliche phrase is that you should have a trillion accomplishments under your belt and things to your name. And I’m thinking “all of that just to have a girlfriend say they love you and you say it back?”
I will admit, I don’t have 100% confidence at all times. I don’t know how some people have it but I don’t. So whenever I have those dips, I question if I’m falling off the balance of if I’m “worthy” or not. (I can’t think of a softer word for worthy.)
I just simply want special kind of attention and give it back. And I feel bad about it because I feel like some sort of societal reject for not wanting to sleep alone at night.
Am I wrong for this? I probably have a blaring answer in my face like my last post.