I (M26) was in a relationship for almost 3 years. Early on, we dealt with heavy external stress (family pressure, secrecy, long-distance), and because of that we both avoided expressing hurt properly. A lot went unresolved.
I’ll be honest, I didn’t handle conflict well at times. I withdrew, blocked temporarily, or threatened to end things when overwhelmed. Later, my partner (F22) told me how much this hurt her.
About 6 months ago, after a major conflict, I fully took responsibility and made real changes. Things were calm, supportive, and stable for months. She acknowledged the change and said she felt loved and safe.
But when I eventually shared that I was feeling emotionally neglected and taken for granted, she said she was emotionally exhausted, couldn’t forgive the past, and felt she had fallen out of love. She asked for space and then ended the relationship, saying she needed to be on her own and didn’t want to keep the door open.
Since the breakup, I’ve been struggling with intense anxiety and grief. I’m seeking professional help and support, but emotionally I’m stuck.
Trying to understand:
Can a relationship still be repaired if one partner changes but the other is emotionally depleted?
Is it common for someone to leave not because love is completely gone, but because they feel unable to continue?
And most importantly, how do you stop self-blame when both people contributed in different ways?