I (19, lesbian) have been in a couple of relationships in the past, but none of them went far and usually I’ve ended up being a second choice or replacement for someone else. Most talking stages saw me as a rebound, and nothing really went anywhere. I’ve never really thought about the kind of relationship dynamic I’d like, and really just wanted to meet someone I could connect to. I’ve been talking to someone for some time now, but I’ve been too uncomfortable to do anything (including kissing), and it’s really not going anywhere. I’m very insecure of my own body, as I’ve never been seen as “hot.” I’ve been told multiple times that I look very young, and that anyone who likes me is probably predatory. This has really affected the way that I view myself, and how I feel in relationships. Anyways, my problem is I don’t know how to overcome that, or feel comfortable in any relationship. I thought if I put myself out there, it would start to get easier, but I was wrong. Not only that, but after a constantly being viewed as a place holder in previous relationships, I don’t think I’m able to feel secure with someone with experience. I know this sounds bad, but I feel like I will always be competing with their better experiences. I don’t feel confident or in control, and I kinda realized this too late. I don’t want my inexperience to be a turn off or a turn on, and I hate the idea of someone bragging or being proud of being my first. I don’t know if these are normal worries, but I was just hit with the understanding that they will always know when I mess up or do something badly, while I remain semi unaware. That power dynamic is really scary, but I don’t want to discriminate against people with a sexual past, especially because I can obviously still have a strong connection with them! I just don’t know how to not be constantly overwhelmed by a feeling of helplessness and insecurity. If anyone has been in this situation, please provide some advice!