My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) got back together a few weeks ago after an 8 month breakup. We were together almost 2 years before that and are long distance (about an hour apart), so weekends are really our only time together. Usually we’d spend Friday night – Sunday night together.
Since getting back together, I’ve been feeling consistently deprioritized. I don’t have a car atm otherwise we’d be doing one week at my house and the next at his. So the last few weeks I asked him to come Saturday bc I had plans to go to dinner with my girl friends. He said he’d be by me at a good time Saturday like midday but he woke up late, said he needed to go to the gym even though he works out 5x a week, and didn’t arrive until 4:30 pm. The next weekend was worse, he was supposed to pack Friday night and come early Saturday, but didn’t start packing until 7 pm because he said he had to research about peptides and talked with his cousin all day and didn’t arrive until 9:30. When he got there, we said hi but he immediately sat on my bed texting his cousin while I just sat there.
Even when we do things together, I feel like an afterthought. I’d been excited to bake cookies, and mentioned it again to him but he kept saying he might get Dairy Queen and wouldn’t want to make them if he got that. We did end up baking, but I did all the work while he stood behind me on his phone watching a fb game bc his sisters fav team was playing. When I said “I thought we were doing this together,” he said “You make them, I’ll eat them.” So after I said that, he helped roll the dough
But he doesn’t initiates any plans, and most of our weekends revolve around his routines (diet, workouts, on twitter) while he’s on his phone. Affection is minimal no random hugs or gestures like he used to do. He opened my car door for me once when we got back together, but didn’t shut it, saying “You shut it, I don’t want to close you in,” which I thought was weird but he never opens my door and does things he knows would make me happy. Same with flowers he thinks it’s unneeded to get a gf flowers but he says “it makes sense on certain occasions.”
During the week we barely text bc he’s always busy which is fine I get it but at night we don’t talk on the phone either bc he goes to bed late from working on the business.
He says he’s stressed because he’s starting an online fitness business, and I try to be understanding. But the same lack of effort and emotional presence that led to our breakup before is showing up again. I care about him, but I’m struggling with feeling unloved and unsure whether this is just a rough adjustment period or a deeper compatibility issue.